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Newsweek, Go Home. You’re Drunk. Those Aren’t Nuns.

January 6, 2016

So this story has been making the rounds:

Two Northern California habit-wearing nuns, the self-proclaimed “Sisters of the Valley,” say their cannabis business is under threat now that the Merced City Council is considering a full ban on all marijuana cultivation in the city. Should the measure pass next week, Sister Kate and Sister Darcy may need to eliminate the small crop of pot plants they have growing in their garage.

The pair produces salves, tonics and tinctures from the plants they sell on Etsy for pain management. The oil is derived from a certain strain of cannabis said to have medicinal and nutraceutical benefits. It’s high in cannabidiol (CBD) but has only traces of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the psychoactive component that causes the marijuana high.

“We make CBD oil, which takes away seizures and a million other things,” Sister Kate told ABC. “It’s very high in demand from cancer patients right now. And we make a salve that’s a multi-purpose salve, but we found out it cures migraines, hangovers, earaches, toothaches and diaper rash.”

The sisters told ABC that while they don’t really spend much time praying, the process of making cannabis-based medicine is a spiritual experience. The women keep an active YouTube channel, to which they post detailed videos of their cultivation and production process.

Okay. Let’s get something straight. Just because someone calls herself a “nun” doesn’t mean that she is, okay?

A visit to the “Sisters of the Valley” website says:

Based in California’s Central Valley, The Sisters of the Valley are not affiliated with any traditional earthly religion.  The Sisters’ spiritual practices support the process of making medicine.  We respect the breadth and depth of the gifts of Mother Earth, working to bridge the gap between Her and her suffering people.

The Sisters prepare all medicines during moon cycles, according to ancient wisdom.  We are activists who are on a mission to heal the world.

The Newsweek report clearly implies these gals must be Catholic. But there is nothing in the story, nothing at all, to clarify that these women are pretty much pagans.

Shouldn’t that have been mentioned? Somewhere? Newsweek? Hmmm?

But, of course, the notion that “nuns” are growing weed is so tantalizingly naughty; this is the stuff that makes producers and editors salivate.

Here, Newsweek. Take a napkin. Wipe your chin. And then go home. Sober up and get real. You’ll feel better in the morning. I’ll call you a cab.

You’re welcome.

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