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Limitless Marriage: the New Normal

Purple Sherbert Photography

Caitlin Bootsma - published on 05/01/14 - updated on 06/08/17

Is there any end to the downward spiral of absurdity?

A recent Telegraph article entitled “Married Lesbian Threesome Expecting Their First Baby in July” might have been found in a tabloid ten years ago, but now its contents are less than shocking. While only two of the three women are actually legally married, the three live in common and have contrived to be as legally bound as possible. One of the women is expecting “their” first child, with the help of an anonymous sperm donor.

Considering the many different living arrangements found in modern culture, their situation does not actually seem that extraordinary. Certainly there are many who think that the only unusual aspect of their arrangement is that this polyamorous lesbian relationship cannot be legally contracted as a marriage, at least not yet.

In several respects, this relationship is not all that different from legal marriages today. By allowing the following common features of relationships to become normal, we have only fallen further down the slippery slope, upon which a three-way lesbian marriage seems the commonsense next step.

Lack of Permanence

Some might be concerned that the commitment between three women could not last. It is, after all, not a common arrangement. There are a multitude of potential issues ranging from sexuality and children to the daily juggling of a three-person relationship.

Yet, there seems to be no reason not to enter into “marriage”, as it is now commonly misunderstood, despite the risk of its future dissolution. After all, no fault divorce is now the norm in our country. While it may be the rare person who gets married expecting to get divorced, the Census reports that while 7.1% of the population got married in 2008, 3.5% got divorced. The knowledge that a marriage can be ended at any time for any reason lays the groundwork for more people to risk unconventional marriages who may have previously hesitated.

Conjugal Relations not Required

In Sacramental marriages, the couple consummates their vows through sexual union. Throughout history, sex has been an integral part of a religious and civil marriages. Through uniting to one another physically, the couple expressed their union and opened themselves to the possibility of children. Even in civil law, an annulment can often be granted if the man is discovered to be impotent and the marital act cannot be completed.

Of course, with the legalization of homosexual “marriage” in so many states, sexual complementarity is no longer a requirement. Suddenly, the very aspect that makes marriage different from a life-long friendship or any other relationship is taken out of the marriage equation. The Telegraph article details that “The threesome insist their relationship is like that of any normal couple: having breakfast with one another, watching TV after work and sharing a bed together.” Not too long ago, this claim would have been easy to refute. Naturally, this threesome is not like married couples – they cannot have conjugal relations that potentially result in the conception of children. Now, however, the threesome’s statement is not far off base and there is little that distinguishes them from other relationships besides their number.

The Ubiquity of IVF and Egg/Sperm Donation

Kitten, one of the threesome, is currently pregnant through a sperm donor with the use of one of her own eggs. The plan is that she will bear three children, perhaps using her “wives’” eggs for the other two pregnancies. Therefore, there could be a child for each of them. Their contrived attempts to create a family are understandable: Thinking of the many couples who long to have children but are unable, makes one realize that this threesome is not alone. And, yet, as so many have argued before, the donation of sperm means that every one of these women’s three children will be purposefully deprived of their biological fathers.

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