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Ex-Porn Star, Crissy Moran, Talks About How She Left the Sex Industry for Christianity

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Childhood sexual abuse led her there. Jesus helped her escape, she said.

pictures of herself and sending them around, she received offers from adult magazines, including Hustler. By the age of 25, she appeared in her first sex video. (Also, she told a family member about the sexual assault from her childhood, but she did not press charges).
 
Crissy lived in Jacksonville, but she moved to Encinitas, California, later.  Living away from her hometown was one thing. Becoming a featured actress on a movie set was another. Crissy saw the pornography business as the path to autonomy. "I thought it was very empowering at the time. You know, I had all these people who depended on me. I knew what to expect. I knew what shoots to do and who were the big players," she said. "I felt I was above everybody else. People needed me."
 
Even Crissy’s choice of a male sexual partner confirmed her view that she was in charge. While her female competitors were paired up with any old male performer, for three-and-a-half years she was paired up with her live-in boyfriend.
 
She lived with other boyfriends too. In fact, she was a serial dater. She needed men around. They made her feel wanted and not alone. Men dominated her professional life too. As feminist critics have noted, American pornography caters to male desires for intense visual stimulation rather than a couple’s relationship. Moran’s films reflect this; of the titles suitable for listing to a general audience, she starred in "Jack’s Playground 15," "Country Girls," and "Men’s Only Gorgeous All Girls."
 
Men helped make Christina not only famous but also wealthy.
 
Her X-rated website pulled in $20,000 a month easy, and she was so flush with cash she could take months off from a shoot. But Crissy’s bid for autonomy through the ego and flesh did not earn her the respect of men.
 
For example, she realized that many men viewed her as a sex object and little more. Her dreams and hopes didn’t matter; theirs did. One day, she traveled to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to join her boyfriend at his work, which was not in the porn business. A male coworker passed around copies of his wife posing topless. The men laughed. Crissy was not amused. "I would hope that if this were my husband, he would not be passing around pictures of me," she recalls telling the men. She felt embarrassed and angry.
 
That was the last straw. After the incident, Crissy delivered some news to her manager. "I said I was taking a break. I didn’t know what to say. Then I told him I was done," she recalls saying. Christina talked with God about her predicament. "He said to trust Him and He would guide me. I felt convicted to give it up … These people [in the industry] weren’t really my friends."
 
Although Crissy remained in Los Angeles, her lifestyle changed. She lost touch with friends and co-workers. The man who ran her X-rated website refused to take the site down. She was no longer receiving big monthly checks. Most of all, she had to learn to live alone, especially without a boyfriend.
 
Crissy’s withdrawal from the porn business took a heavy emotional and spiritual toll. "I had post-traumatic big time. I didn’t know how I could go out and pay my bills. I was used to paying for my nails, hair extensions.  To give that up was traumatic, extremely traumatic as I say.”
 
Crissy’s transition from porn starlet to Christian woman has not been a straight line. There have been bumps along the way. She was not always abstinent with her boyfriends, she said. She had night terrors. But she joined a Christian church in Los Angeles. She took various office jobs, including a job as a legal secretary. She worked for Treasures, a faith-based non-profit that pastors to men and women in the sex industry. And she gave up dating for ten months.

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