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The Sexual Answer to Same-Sex Marriage

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Tom Hoopes - published on 07/20/15

It is not impossible for an NFP couple to misuse sex in an alienating way, but it is a lot harder.

Sex that waits its turn with the other priorities and necessities of life is different from sex that is at the beck and call of our whims. And sex that is open to new life is different from sex that excludes it—heterosexual or homosexual.

This sex is no longer just sex. It is a participation in Divine Life, since it refuses to close itself to procreation, and it is an imitation of Trinitarian Love, since through it two become one. NFP sex becomes something ennobling—transcendent—something that makes us greater than the animals.

4. Natural Family Planning shows that we can apply our reason to sex.

But don’t get me wrong. Sex is also still sex—and, apart from God, Church and human destiny it is still a very earthy, “animal” thing. As Cole Porter pointed out, “Even educated fleas do it.”

But this is another way natural family planning answers homosexual marriage.

NFP couples learn that our sexual appetites can be channeled and used as we wish; we are not helpless in front of them.

Lots of people have sexual feelings they cannot act on morally. Single people or those married to someone who can no longer perform sexual functions, for starters—but also any married person who has a sexual desire for anybody or any kind of person besides the one person they are married to.

Sexual fantasies are endless, sexual appetites are voracious and sexual varieties are as vast as the human imagination. That’s why we have the faculty of reason to sort them out and the faculty of will to select the ones that are good for us.
Natural family planning reminds us that sex is exciting on its own, because we have to wait for it. And it reminds us that sex is a power, not a toy, because we know why we have to wait for it.

Every sexual experience doesn’t have to be magical and novel; it just has to be loving and real. NFP shows us that’s more than enough.



Tom Hoopes is writer in residence at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas.

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Tags:
ContraceptionHomosexualityMarriageSexuality
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