In his new book Rod Dreher travels home to Starhill, Louisiana with the Italian poet as a guide
After leaving his small hometown of Starhill, Louisiana at 16—a boy on scholarship to a public boarding school for academically gifted kids—Dreher becomes a successful writer, hopscotching from city to city, from writing gig to writing gig. Following the death of his sister, Ruthie, and feeling rootless, he returns home, bringing along his wife and children, a long exile ended. It does not go as expected.
He expects to be embraced within the love of his parents, especially his father, in a way he had never emotionally experienced in his childhood. They are glad to have him of course, but it is never as warm or as deep as he needs, never as idyllic as his imagination. He will never be the son his father expected. He’s too different, too bookish, and that will hardly change.
He describes from his youth a squirrel hunting incident where, as a tender-hearted kid, he is visibly upset at having shot a couple of baby squirrels. His father calls him a sissy; his sister Ruthie laughs. This, one gathers, is pretty much his life with these people. “What kind of love was it,” he muses in another place, “that would treat others like this?”
Ruthie, who died of cancer at age 40, stayed in Starhill, bound to the traditionalism of the community. She married her high school sweetheart and taught sixth grade in the school she had attended. We learn that she felt a deep antipathy for her brother, which Dreher was clueless about until after her death. To friends she had described him as a “snob and a fraud” for rejecting home and tradition. She sniped behind his back, dropped sarcasm on him during his infrequent visits home, and turned her three children against him. Yet far from resenting any of this, he blames himself and writes a hagiographic biography about her, The Little Way of Ruthie Leming. In the words of a not unkind reviewer, “he needed her to be a saint.”
After Ruthie’s death he returns to the family that has never understood him and, to a surprising extent, hates who he has become. Because he left home, they believe he rejected them. Coming home changed little. The elemental issues that led him away from his childhood home as a high school student are still in place upon his return, stuffed under familial politeness but always bubbling.
No one has changed; crucially, no one will change. They don’t have the capacity, as he tells it. He is nearly overcome from the stress of being back in Starhill—anxious, defensive, and immobilized by an illness that flares up in tune with family interactions.
If they will not change into the loving family he expected, he must learn to love them as they are, and Dante becomes is his guide in moving on.
Dreher latches on episodes in Dante and the travel he must make through the inferno to purgatory, until he finds a “welcome-home party for the penitent, fully restored to his father’s household.” In the poem, step by step, Dante is guided and urged along a spiritual path. The vision begins with Dante awakening mid-way through life. “I came to myself in a dark wood, for the straight way was lost.”
Thanks to Dante, Dreher claims to have gained the insight, determination, emotional depth, and, eventually, the spiritual maturity to complete the long, grueling Dante-like journey up from his personal hell to emerge whole and healed upon the illuminating heights of paradiso. One learns a lot about Dante in the book, but even more about Dreher.
If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.
Here are some numbers:
- 20 million users around the world read Aleteia.org every month
- Aleteia is published every day in eight languages: English, French, Arabic, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
- Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
- Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
- Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
- We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)
As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.
Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!