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How I Learned the Hard Way that Sexting is Not a Game

Zoe CC

La Opción V - published on 08/09/15 - updated on 06/07/17

It's degrading and humiliating, and I hope I can save you from it

Hi! I’m 17 years old. I read some testimonies on La Opción V about sexting, and I found them very interesting. They encouraged me to share my own story, since I was in a very similar situation. So, here goes…

I liked a boy a lot, and he was attracted to me. We went out several times to kiss, and he would touch me too. It was something new for me. We kept talking about these things until he filled my head ideas, asking me why we should wait until marriage, and saying a lot of things like that. I listened to him and we began to talk about sex, and we planned a day for us to go all the way.

Mistake #1: Allowing kisses when there is no solid relationship, just because you enjoy it.

Mistake #2: Allowing him to touch you and take it further with petting.

Mistake #3: Not taking a clear and firm stance, but letting him convince you.

Mistake #4: Talking about sex with a boy. All of the above just leads to awakening the imagination, fantasies, and curiosity, stirring up sexual desire.

Mistake #5: Planning to have sex without any commitment, without marriage.

We were never dating, we were just "friends with benefits." He sent me photos and I send him mine, although never showing my face and never naked, just in very sexy underwear. We went on that way for two months until I found out that he had made a bet with some friends about getting me in bed before a certain date. They had bet $4, and in my country that’s nothing. That was the price that they had placed on my virginity.

Mistake #6: Accepting that we were "friends with benefits".

Mistake #7: Accepting sexual photographs from other people and sending your own (sexting).

I also realized that he had shown my photos and chats to all of his friends, who are my friends too. When I found out, I wanted to die! I called him out on it and broke off our relationship completely. That was almost a year ago, but I still keep the photo of him so I can defend myself.

It was a serious mistake that I will regret for my whole life, and I don’t want you, especially the youngest and most naive, to make the mistake that I made when I was 16 years old.

There are boys who will ask you for them, but please, do NOT send them photos of your private parts, even if your face isn’t visible, even if it is only in underwear or a bikini, even if they have been your boyfriends for a long time… Just, DON’T DO IT! Besides exposing yourself to the embarrassment of having the photos start to make the rounds among your friends, at your school, and even among your family and relations, I can tell you from my own experience that this kind of activity ends up being degrading and humiliating for you.

 Please, girls, think about the consequences before you decide to send a photo like that.  It’s not a game! 

Article originally published by La Opción V. Translated by Matthew Green.

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