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Dear Katrina, Should I make a move on this guy I like at work?

Virgo Group - CC

Katrina Fernandez - published on 07/26/16

"We flirt all the time..."

Dear Katrina,

What are your thoughts on dating co-workers? There’s a guy I work with that I’m really interested in and he seems to be interested in me too. We flirt all the time. I’m thinking about asking him out. Should I wait for him to make the move or just go ahead and ask him out myself?  

Sarah N.


Dear Sarah,

I say make no move at all. In fact, I suggest taking the professional initiative of shutting down any future flirting between the two of you.

As a general rule I’m opposed to workplace dating, because I’m opposed to workplace drama. I’ve never had a job where I thought, “Gee, you know what this place needs? More awkward tension, unprofessionalism, and misery!”

Let’s say you ask out this guy and he doesn’t respond as you had hoped. Awkward. Now you’re not only rejected but professionally compromised, or worse fired for sexual harassment. The workplace, being as careful and litigious as it, is not the place to take romantic risks.

For the sake of argument, let’s say he likes you as much as you like him. He agrees to a date, you two hit it off and become an item. What happens when you hit a bump in the relationship or have an argument? What happens if the relationship fizzles all together and you break up? You get to see him the next day and pretend like nothing happened. You get to bring all that animosity and ill will to work, which I am sure your boss and co-workers will absolutely appreciate.

There’s so much at stake in these types of situations. You could permanently ruin your professional reputation. Woman have to work a little harder to be taken seriously in some professions and if you start flirting and dating co-workers you’re likely to be taken less seriously. It’s a work environment, not high school, and employers typically expect their employees to leave their private lives at home, not bring them to work. Depending on company and HR policies you could even get fired or cause the guy you like to get fired as well.

You want my advice? Shut it down.

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