Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Friday 24 September |
The Blessed Virgin Mary—Our Lady of Walsingham
home iconVoices & Views
line break icon

What do C.S. Lewis, Warren Beatty and Jerry Seinfeld have in common?

Shutterstock and Fair Use via Wikipedia

Katrina Fernandez - published on 03/31/17

Hint: They (and many other men) were all over 40 when they took a very big step.


I’d like your honest opinion about my situation. Would you consider it normal that I am 43 and have never been married? Is it too late in life to get married?

Simon P.


Dear Simon,   

They say there is a lid for every pot but I can attest that is not always the case. I own many lidless pots in my pantry. That is not meant to be discouraging; instead it’s meant to put you at ease. There is absolutely nothing wrong, in my opinion, with being unmarried at 43. And I don’t simply say that as a single 40-year-old woman myself. I say that because I know it to be true.

Be encouraged: lots of famous people married after 40, you know. C.S. Lewis was 58 when he married his beloved Joy. “Confirmed bachelor” Warren Beatty was 55 when he married Annette Bening. Prince Albert II of Monaco was 53 when he married his princess, Charlene. Jerry Seinfeld was 45 when he married Jessica and James Stewart was 41 when he married his wife, Gloria.

For better or for worse (probably for worse) our society is very career-oriented and people are encouraged to put their careers first — get “established” before marrying and having children. For that reason, many people are marrying later in life.

My first piece of advice: don’t fret about it. If you start focusing on being single you run the risk of putting yourself in the vulnerable situation of ending up with someone not good for you, just for the sake of not remaining single. I’ve seen it happen many times.

As for whether it’s considered normal to have never married — it may be completely normal for you. I don’t know you. Some people just have certain personalities that make them less predisposed to the married life. It doesn’t mean you’re weird or abnormal. At 43 you could say that it might be considered “normal” to be divorced and twice married, but just because that is commonplace doesn’t make it more normal or acceptable than never having been married at all.

I don’t take the stance that it is ever too late in life to do anything. My Catholic nature and that call to continual conversion demands it of me. With that, of course I do not think it’s too late to get married, provided that is God’s will and what is going to help you grow in holiness.

Instead of focusing on your single state in life, focus on improving your relationship with Christ and His Church. If you are feeling lonely or inadequate about your living situation, consider joining a men’s group at your parish or the Knights of Columbus.  

I do wish you the best.  

Read more:
For the first time, I am dating and I am not sleeping with her. It is not easy.

Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...

Top 10
Cecilia Pigg
7 Ways the saints can help you sleep better at night
Philip Kosloski
An alternative Hail Mary to Our Lady of Sorrows
Our Lady of La Salette
Philip Kosloski
How Our Lady of La Salette can give us hope in darkness
Philip Kosloski
Pray this Psalm when you successfully recover from an illness
Philip Kosloski
Why J.R.R. Tolkien loved to attend daily Mass
Domitille Farret d'Astiès
Attacked with acid as a baby, Anmol Rodriguez overcomes and inspi...
Aid to the Church in Need
What happens when a million children pray the Rosary?
See More
Get Aleteia delivered to your inbox. Subscribe here.