Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Aleteia
Monday 02 August |
Saint of the Day: St. Peter Julian Eymard
home iconFor Her
line break icon

How a simple rubber band can make you a better parent

COLORFUL HAIR TIES

Marina Shemesh | CC

Cerith Gardiner - published on 05/31/17

Kelly Holmes's brilliant idea just takes few rubber bands, a good dose of mindfulness, and a desire to be a more positive parent.

Part of being a good parent is knowing that we can behave badly too. We lose our cool and say things we don’t really mean, or we can get caught up in grown up issues that leave our kids feeling neglected — and the parent full of guilt and shame. But thanks to mom Shauna Harvey’s now viral post, there’s a way to snap out of it. And all it takes is a few rubber bands, a good dose of mindfulness, and a desire to be a more positive parent.




Read more:
Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.

In her recent Facebook post, Harvey shared her hair tie experiment that she’d discovered on a blog by mom-of-three, Kelly Holmes, The (Reformed) Idealist Mom. After being at her wits end with her “testy” four-year old who left her in tears “nearly every other day,” Harvey decided she needed a more positive approach to parenting. She turned to the hair tie experiment that aims to make us more aware of when we snap at our children, having a helpful visual reminder to exercise more patience, and become the less angry parent that we would so love to be — a big high five to the already patient parents out there!

It’s a very simple technique of placing five comfortable hair ties around your wrist and every time you snap at your child you remove a band and place it on your other wrist. In order to win back that angry band back, you just need to do five good acts, and they’re not that hard. Holmes lists some ideas on one of her blog posts, but just think of what your child loves: a kiss, a hug, a “sorry,” a book to read together, sing a favorite song, take two minutes to look out the window together. It’s all doable and it doesn’t cost a dime, and before you know it you’ll have a wrist full of five bands again.

RUBBER BANDS,WRIST
Shauna Harvey | Facebook

And the result … on day one Harvey managed to have all her bands back on the right wrist. Better still, over time Harvey explained to Scary Mommy: “I don’t get angry near as much. As a mother, well as a parent in general, it’s so easy to go straight to anger or frustration,” adding “I think as parents we need a reminder every now and then that children are children and they are learning. We are their examples.”


WOMAN; CAR

Read more:
How do we get better at being patient?

We know it isn’t always easy being a parent but as Harvey said, as our children’s examples we need to show them the best of us so they can become the best of them. If a few bands can help us keep our anger in check then it’s definitely worth a try! Feel free to let us know how your own hair tie experiment works out for your family in the comments below.

Tags:
Parenting
Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read Aleteia.org every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...




Top 10
1
SIMONE BILES
Cerith Gardiner
Simone Biles leaves the Olympics with an important lesson for her...
2
Ignacio María Doñoro
Francisco Veneto
The military chaplain who pretended to be a criminal to rescue a ...
3
HIDILYN DIAZ
Cerith Gardiner
Gold-winning Filipina Olympian shares her Miraculous Medal for th...
4
JEDZENIE
Theresa Civantos Barber
The one thing we all should do before this summer ends
5
Zelda Caldwell
German women’s gymnastics teams modest dress protests sport’s ...
6
CARLO ACUTIS
Violeta Tejera
Carlo Acutis’ first stained glass window in jeans and sneak...
7
Zelda Caldwell
World-record winning gymnast Simone Biles leans on her Catholic f...
See More
Newsletter
Get Aleteia delivered to your inbox. Subscribe here.