Children shouldn't be the only glue keeping your marriage together.
When I ask couples what is the strongest and most indestructible bond that keeps them together, I usually get the same answer: the children. And of course, this makes sense. But … if it were truly strong and indestructible, why is there still so much divorce?
So it’s not the children that keeps us united, but our capacity for mutual love and commitment, of self-giving, and of staying a priority for each other. The children are the fruit of our love, and an enormous blessing. But unfortunately, for many couples, that love — the purest of loves — is not enough to combat selfishness and avoid divorce.
Let me explain. Children are the most beautiful gift life can give us, and of course we have to love them unconditionally and dedicate our time, effort, and everything else to them. But we can’t neglect the person who should be our top priority, even above our children: our spouse.
Intimacy in married life goes far beyond a mere sexual encounter. It means allowing ourselves to truly know each other as we are, from the soul. It means communicating our spirits without fear of being judged because there is only love between us, and we feel that we can open up completely. It means letting our hearts dialogue, often without words. The idea is for our relationship as husband and wife to be the most intimate of all human relationships.