It only takes one to create a crisis, but it takes two to heal it.
Your relationship is in trouble… at least according to one of you. Perhaps, as it often happens, you don’t agree — one partner thinks it’s time to get help, the other insists that things will work out on their own. You may both have heard discouraging stories from other couples: “We tried everything: a romantic getaway, a retreat, even therapy — nothing worked.”
Couples’ therapy is a great help, but the fact is, nothing will work if you don’t lay the necessary groundwork first. Here are some basic conditions for rebuilding a damaged or broken relationship …
A relationship can’t be rebuilt if only one partner is invested in the process. It’s like the image St. Paul uses of a believer and unbeliever being “unequally yoked.” You are bound together in the relationship, but if there’s unequal willingness to get help and work things out — if only one of you is “walking” — then you’ll just be going in circles. In some cases, it takes months or even years of persistence from one partner before the other will concede that outside help is needed.