Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Saturday 27 February |
Saint of the Day: St. Gregory of Narek
home iconLifestyle
line break icon

Have you tried Nicole Kidman’s secret to a happy marriage?



Sophia Swinford - published on 07/09/18

She and husband Keith Urban swear they've never done one thing ... and it's made all the difference.

Having just celebrated her 12th anniversary with her husband Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman revealed in an interview with Parade that the secret to their 12 happy years is the way they communicate. Many a married couple will tell you this, but for Kidman and Urban this commitment to communication takes a unique expression.

“We’ve never texted,” Kidman said in the interview. “That is so not our relationship.” Preferring “voice-to-voice or skin-to-skin” communication, the couple enacted the no-texting policy in 2005 due to the practical issue that neither of them knew how to text. Now, however, Kidman says the choice has been beneficial to their relationship as a couple.

Text messages are often not the most reliable indicators of what another person is trying to communicate due to the lack of nuance. Kidman explained, “I’ve had the thing where I reread texts and I’m like ‘What does that mean?’ and then read it somebody and go ‘Can you interpret that?’ I don’t want that between my lover and I.”

Texting has rapidly changed the way in which we communicate with our friends, spouses, and family members. Social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato notes the “psychological distance” created by favoring texting, a distance that can be either good or bad. She says, “The distance that texting offers may make it easier to say what one may not wish to say in person.”

Whether you and your spouse choose to text or not, DiDonato advises that “having clear rules or norms for how texting will occur may prevent some of the frustrations that technology can introduce into the mix.”

If you find that certain modes of communication are often a source of confusion, anxiety, or frustration for you and your significant other, then you might revisit this advice and consider setting some new boundaries around how technology will be used in your relationship.

Woman Texting

Read more:
Imagine what would happen if we used “real” words when texting

Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...

Top 10
Philip Kosloski
Padre Pio’s favorite prayer of petition
Zoe Romanowsky
20-year-old filmmaker wins award for powerful 1-minute film about...
V. M. Traverso
The 9 oldest images of Mary
Cerith Gardiner
12 Things every Catholic woman should have in her purse
Lucandrea Massaro
This 3D “carbon copy” of Jesus was created using the ...
Jacques Fesch
Brother Silas Henderson, SDS
Meet the Death Row prisoner who discovered a ...
Cerith Gardiner
10 Celebrities whose marriages have stood the test of time
See More
Get Aleteia delivered to your inbox. Subscribe here.