Fantasy, mutual attraction, or even platonic admiration … none of it is harmless. If you’re experiencing these desires, take some time to reflect on your feelings, your relationship, and the meaning of marriage.
Look for the cause
First, ask yourself, what is happening to tempt you to look or cast thoughts elsewhere? What is missing from the relationship that would explain a romantic interest in someone else? Is your relationship healthy, or drying up? Is the relationship stuck in routine? Is there a lack of communication, tenderness, or attention? Have past hurts been forgiven?
Serious reflection, done alone, as a couple, and/or with the guidance of a therapist, can help you see more clearly and uncover dysfunctions that can be fatal to the relationship. One of the best ways to avoid emotional or physical infidelity is to strengthen your marriage, facing difficulties together and constantly renewing your love. Sometimes you just need to rekindle or stir up the flame of romance.
No need to play with fire. If you find yourself drawn to someone outside your marriage, it’s best to avoid situations that could lead you further astray. Decline ambiguous one-on-one meetings with a colleague; avoid going out at exactly the same time as your attractive neighbour in order to cross paths with him. Make a quick getaway when the object of your desire appears. Act prudently so as to avoid temptation.