Here are 8 opportunities for growth after failing ...
Nobody likes failure, especially modern parents who attach such great importance to their children’s success. Today more than ever, parents try to spare their kids problems, obstacles, and failures. We see parents of children of any age trying to avoid or solve their children’s problems by talking with teachers or with sports coaches, and doing their children’s homework and projects so their kids can be winners.
However, failure is normal and healthy. It can teach us important lessons, and make us more humble, compassionate, realistic, and resilient people. Here are eight concrete ways that experiencing failure is good for our kids (and for us!):
1. Failure helps kids get in touch with different kinds of emotions
If our kids are over-protected from negative emotions, they will have problems in the future when they encounter sadness, anger, or frustration. Failure helps them to feel and recognize these emotions and learn to manage them.
2. They can learn from their mistakes
Failures allow children to reflect on what they did wrong and how they can improve. Learning from their own mistakes is an important lesson for the future.
3. It helps them to persevere
If we don’t let our kids experience failure, then later on when things don’t turn out well on the first try, they won’t be as capable of persisting as they should be because they haven’t developed willpower in the face of adversity. Perseverance is a necessary virtue for us to be able to achieve something in life.
4. We can focus on the effort with them more than on the result
A child who always triumphs can tend to see achievement as the only reward and the only thing that matters. Being with kids in their failures, and helping them acknowledge the value of the path they walked and the effort they made, will be good for both us and them. As parents, it can make us more compassionate. It can also help our children be more emotionally healthy, not rooting their self-worth only in success, and knowing how to accept failure gracefully.