Caterina Scorsone, best known for her role in Grey’s Anatomy, makes it look like her life is easy. Her colorful photos are full of smiles, colors, broccoli grown in her backyard, and naps in a hammock .
It certainly is beautiful—a joyful life radiates from her social media profile—but for those of us who see this actress’s life from the outside, it’s natural for us to believe her life is only full of roses and flowers … and broccoli!
Perfection does not exist, but beauty does
When you look at Caterina together with Paloma, her second daughter (who has Down syndrome), you can see at a glance the great happiness she feels, which is why she never stops talking about it and reminding all women who are afraid of a prenatal diagnosis like that of her “Pippa” that Down syndrome isn’t a life sentence of unhappiness.
Being a mom is not an audition for Wonder Woman
Scorsone is very happy being a mom but admits in a recent interview for Parents.com, “I would never perpetuate the myth that it’s all easy.”
As a working mom, she’s well aware of the difficulties of work-life balance, but she’s set her sights high. She does her best to be home every night, putting her girls to bed because it’s “worth its weight in gold!” (and she thanks the well-oiled Grey’s Anatomy machine that allows her to do so).
She carves out “one-on-one” time every week to “check in with each individually,” and agrees to have help—from her sister Jovanna, for example, but also from a nanny if needed—especially to follow up on little Pippa’s therapy.
“I am lucky enough to have a lot of help,” she told Parents. “Through Pippa, I discovered the gifts of community. At first, I was scared. But parents of other kids with special needs became like instant family.”
It doesn’t matter how far you go, it’s how happy you are while you’re going down that road. And you know, the more the merrier! Often we moms believe in the myth of having to do everything ourselves. While it’s true that sometimes the famous “village” unfortunately doesn’t exist, sometimes we also suffer from the illusion of having to be Wonder Woman at all costs.
We don’t delegate, so we end up at our breaking point. We’d like to show that we’re able to do everything, and do it well—that we’re “cut out for this job”—and then we find ourselves tired and demoralized.
Don’t be islands!
We are not islands. As Scorsone says, “It’s in moments of vulnerability that we either become insular or accept that we need others.”
Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means trusting that no matter how messed up and degenerate some aspects of this world may be, there’s still a lot of good that we and our children can find.
Seeing someone extend a hand is already one of the greatest lessons we can give, along with the lesson that we aren’t self-sufficient and we need each other.
And today we celebrate...