4 Simple strategies to cope with overwhelm

You hear a scream from across the house and identify it (correctly!) as a friendly wrestling match that turned sour. At the same time, you realize you forgot to set a timer and the burnt smell emanating from the kitchen is (was?) a key ingredient in tonight’s dinner. The groceries still have not been put away from your shopping trip of 30 minutes ago, and the baby who only recently learned to walk, stumbles and falls over them, adding more screams to the ambiance of a midweek afternoon.

The rest of the house is in shambles too, as you haven’t instigated your daily afternoon tidy yet. Where to begin?

“Help unhappy children, then focus on dinner,” you repeat to yourself as you feel the crunch of a thousand cracker crumbs underfoot. You scoop up a dejected wrestler for a snuggle.

You could whisk away the mess before it spreads, but, no. “Children first, then dinner,” you repeat; you can’t get sidetracked. 

There's the first lesson in coping with overwhelm from me, an expert in feeling overwhelmed.

My overwhelm has varied in kind throughout my life -- from school-related struggles (so many papers and projects due, plus balancing social life and side jobs, where do I begin?) -- to work-related struggles (ok, I have no idea what I’m doing in this position, but everything needs to be done and sooner rather than later) -- and everything in between.

While the kinds of overwhelm have varied, the first step in tackling it for me has always been to find the most important thing. This might involve writing down all the things floating around in your head so that you can prioritize them. Once you can establish what to do first, you can make a start. Staring blankly at your to-do list or sitting frozen while staring into space will not help you stay afloat. 

After you’ve found the most important thing, try committing to 10 minutes with that one task. Don’t let yourself be distracted by any other task; just stick with that one. You have to start somewhere, and 10 minutes is manageable and blessedly underwhelming. It’s much easier than committing to an hour or a whole day.  

This also helps when you have several related tasks to complete, and they feel daunting. Many times I look at a house covered in toys and a kitchen filled with dirty dishes, and I feel the need to hyperventilate. But, then I remind myself that 10 minutes of work will make a huge dent in the chaos. 

If the overwhelm is mostly not in your control (I’m looking at you, overstimulating televisions in a crowded lobby at the dealership, waiting for the longest oil change in the world to be over with a toddler throwing a tantrum), take a deep breath and wait 10 minutes. In 10 minutes, whatever situation you are in might be totally different. Ten minutes from now, the world often looks a lot better and more manageable than it does currently. 

Do you have any time set apart for yourself in the day? Time for leisure or prayer or something that will help your cup to be filled? If you are running around all day, either physically or mentally, and you don’t have any time to recharge, your day will feel 100 times more overwhelming. (Scrolling on your phone while you wait for something does not count).

On the contrary, if you know that you will have or did have a little bit of time to do something that brings you joy, the day is manageable again. I don’t have any studies or data to back me up -- just citing personal experience. But it’s worth a shot! Some endeavors that are recreative and rejuvenating are journaling, taking a walk outside, working out, spending quiet time with Scripture, or creating something with your hands (painting, crafting, sewing, whittling, etc.).

When you don't think you can handle the day, when your heart starts racing after glancing at your to-do list, or when someone asks you for help and you are tempted to snap, find the most important thing. Commit to just 10 minutes of focused work to start, and know that in 10 minutes time, the world might look a little less chaotic.