Often when we think about the lives of the saints, we think of them as courageous men and women who were not afraid of anything.
We can have an image in our mind that the saints were perfect, without any stain or wrinkle, accepting everything as coming from the hand of God.
While that might have been the case in the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary, all the other saints in the history of the Church were imperfect vessels of the Holy Spirit. They strove for holiness, but it doesn't mean they were perfect.
St. Boniface, the terrified
For example, St. Boniface was given the weighty task of being the "regional" bishop of Germany. He was also the "only" bishop of Germany, meaning that all the souls in the area were entrusted to his care.
Christianity was new to Germany and so this task had many challenges.
St. Boniface writes about the trepidation he felt in a letter that is provided by the Office of Readings. He first explains how he is intimidated looking at the lives of previous shepherds of the Church:
The ancient fathers showed us how we should carry out this duty: Clement, Cornelius and many others in the city of Rome, Cyprian at Carthage, Athanasius at Alexandria. They all lived under emperors who were pagans; they all steered Christ's ship - or rather his most dear spouse, the Church. This they did by teaching and defending her, by their labours and sufferings, even to the shedding of blood.
When looking at their lives, St. Boniface writes that he was "terrified:"
I am terrified when I think of all this. Fear and trembling came upon me and the darkness of my sins almost covered me. I would gladly give up the task of guiding the Church which I have accepted if I could find such an action warranted by the example of the fathers or by holy Scripture.
St. Boniface was actively looking for a way out!
Yet, despite his personal weakness, St. Boniface trusted in God, which is how he was able to guide the Church in Germany during its infancy stages:
Let us trust in him who has placed this burden upon us. What we ourselves cannot bear let us bear with the help of Christ. For he is all-powerful and he tells us: My yoke is easy and my burden is light.
St. Boniface is a great example to us all that even if we are afraid to do something, we are not alone. Many of the saints were afraid to do God's will, but then the did, trusting in God's strength.
