If you became a parent later in life, or hope to have children someday (or another child) but can feel the weight of growing older, the story of Jesus’ grandparents may be one to which you can relate.
According to tradition, Sts. Joachim and Anne, parents of Our Lady, were married for 20 years before God blessed them with the miracle of a baby. In their culture, childlessness was seen as a much greater sorrow and cross than it often is in our culture today. Yet they somehow found the strength to trust in God's plan, even when the miracle for which they hoped and prayed seemed impossible.
Their faith and perseverance brought them through the sorrow of infertility to the joy of having a little girl. Their patience was rewarded with bringing into the world the woman who would say yes to becoming the Mother of God.
If you're wondering whether you're “too old” to have children, know that you're in good company — not only with these two saints but also with many other holy people from the Bible and Church history. We think of St. Elizabeth; Hannah; Sarah; and even St. Gianna Molla, who didn’t have her first child until she was 34.
Their stories remind us that God's timing isn't always our timing. Yet in the hardship of uncertainty and waiting, God promises us his hope and grace: “Blessed are those who have not lost hope” is the theme for this year’s World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly on July 27, and it couldn’t be more timely.
And the good news is that there are a number of benefits to having kids later in life. Perhaps Sts. Joachim and Anne felt some of these effects in their parenting experiences.
Science backs up later parenthood
Modern research reveals some surprising benefits of having children later in life, whether the baby is your first or you already have a few children at home.
Among other things, here are some findings about having kids later in life:
- Older maternal age is associated with children having fewer behavioral, social, and emotional difficulties
- Older fathers tend to have more intelligent children, with higher IQs and stronger focus, and advanced paternal age is associated with children living longer
- Women who had their last child after 33 had double the chance of living to 95 or older, and women who gave birth after 40 were four times more likely to live to be 100
Having kids later in life is sometimes associated with negative outcomes, so hopefully knowing there are positive effects too can help your discernment and help you hold onto hope.
Holiness comes in many family shapes
If you have faced infertility or secondary infertility, or had to wait longer than you wanted to have a child for any reason, you already know that holy families come in all shapes and sizes. Both Mary and Jesus were only children. Their families looked different from the large households that are sometimes idealized.
Families of all sizes are beautiful, and joyfully accepting many children witnesses to babies being a blessing from God. But holiness isn't measured by family size or timing — whether you have one child or 10 (or no children at all!), and whether they come early or late. Sts. Joachim and Anne remind us that God is just as present with families of every size.
As we celebrate the World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly, we remember that it was St. Anne who taught Our Lady how to be a mother. The examples of Sts. Anne and Joachim helped shape Mary into the mother she was — and is, to Jesus and to all of us. Their loving family life shaped the home that nurtured the Son of God himself.
Your family’s timing might not match society's expectations, at any age, whether you’re seen as “too young” or “too old.” And that's okay. You aren’t answering to other people, but to God, who has a plan for your life more incredible than you ever imagined.
Sts. Joachim and Anne show us that God's plans are always bigger than our own — and always worth the wait.
