Family conflicts are a common reality in the life of any home. Differences of opinion, unresolved issues, unfulfilled expectations, and misunderstandings can damage family life or relationships between parents, children, siblings, and spouses.
Amid these tensions, the Holy Scriptures can be our guide to restoring harmony and love in the family. The Bible offers practical and timeless advice regarding forgiveness, empathy, humility, and reconciliation.
In this article, we’ll explore how biblical values and teachings can help us face and resolve family conflicts, building peace from the heart and strengthening our family bonds.
1Talk calmly
We all have something to say and want to share the facts from our point of view. However, sometimes when we speak, we get upset and say things we may later regret. Here’s some advice from Proverbs we can repeat to ourselves when we’re tempted to “vent”:
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1).
2Listen carefully before responding
In one of his letters, the apostle James recommends that before we lose our patience and respond, we should wait and listen, thinking before we speak:
You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1:19).
3Practice these three virtues
Practicing humility, gentleness, and patience will lead us to act better:
I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3).
4Be honest, but with brotherly love
When talking to others, we can express how we feel and say if something they said hurt us. However, we should do this with fraternal love and humility, imitating Jesus:
But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. (Ephesians 4:15).
5Focus on uniting your family, not dividing it
As a family, it’s important to maintain unity:
How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity! (Psalms 133:1).
6Consider the other person's perspective
The Scriptures teach us not to be proud, but to recognize that we may be mistaken. At the same time, we are invited to practice empathy, identifying and addressing what other people need:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4).
7Don’t seek revenge
Revenge is not the same as justice and is not compatible with the mercy and forgiveness that Jesus teaches:
Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. (Romans 12:17).
8Admit our mistakes and pray
Nothing helps us reflect on our mistakes like confession and humble prayer, as James explains:
Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. (James 5:16).
9Practice mercy
Being merciful, just as God has been merciful to us, will help us face overcome difficult situations:
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13).
10Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom
Let us ask the Spirit to enlighten us:
If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. (James 1:5).
11Take initiative
Finally, do not hesitate to take the initiative to approach the other person and resolve the conflict:
So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)
