If you follow Catholic news, no doubt you’ve heard dire statistics about Catholics leaving the Church.
“We are losing nine out of 10 cradle Catholics,” Church Life Journal reported last week.
Their article has lots of great ideas, from research about what helps kids stay Catholic to creative solutions like parish small-group programs. Definitely check it out if this is an issue on your mind, as it is for many Catholic parents, grandparents, and educators.
But what if one quick solution to this crisis is so much easier than we think?
What if a secret weapon hiding in plain sight could transform your parish — and it takes just seconds to deploy?
The loneliness epidemic
Social isolation and loneliness are at an all-time high in today’s world, thanks to endless factors like digital barriers to connection and fragmented communities.
In this modern landscape, parishes stand uniquely positioned to fill the gap and offer warm and friendly communities that so many people desperately crave.
But so many are missing the opportunity.
ACS Technologies just released data that examined the theological beliefs of 45,000 Americans. Their results, published in the American Beliefs Study: Religious Preferences and Practices, revealed that the difference between someone staying at or leaving a church can come down to something as simple and basic as social connection.
Terry Poplava, General Manager of ACST Catholic, said many churches may be rethinking their approach to support meaningful relationships and foster “pro-connection cultures”:
We’re surrounded by digital “connections,” but we lack the real relationships that parish communities are uniquely able to nurture for well being.
It’s never been more important for parishes to better know and understand those who come in and out of their doors …
It is the role of both church leaders and parishioners to let people know that they’re not “just missed,” but that their presence matters.
Practical strategies
Poplava shared with Aleteia some of the biggest “connection building” factors according to his research.
How can parishes be warmer and help dispel loneliness?
Place a priority on care for each other, even in the context of a place of reverence. The American Beliefs Study on warm and friendly encounters offers some guidance for this.
When people were asked what they would perceive as warm and friendly, most often they indicated the following things:
- Someone greeting me when I arrive
- Seeing people I am friends with at Mass
- Someone invited me
- Someone invited me back
These responses are consistent with the Strengths and Engagement data from Gallup regarding parishioner engagement. A sense of belonging and alignment with the mission of the parish are strong indicators of engagement.
The combination of engaged parishioners with a focus on including everyone, such as visitors and parishioners we may not know, provides the environment where we welcome others and proactively invite them to be active in the parish or to attend Mass. These qualities contribute to a warmer and more welcoming culture.
It must extend to staff, the parish office and the pastor and clergy, all of whom set the tone for the culture of the parish. We all should exhibit excitement about our faith and about our parish family and be happy to engage with each other.
How can parishes build a culture of hospitality?
Execute on details such as follow up with both parishioners and visitors. Follow up on family events, sacraments, if someone does not show up, or stops giving. Follow up with visitors with an invitation to come back, perhaps months after they visited when it might make sense they would be back, for example for a holiday.
Cultivate the atmosphere I described previously — leadership and staff available and welcoming, parishioners welcoming and greeting each other.
Do a great job of greeting people and accompanying them to a pew or seat. Get to know parishioner names and engage in conversation, beyond just handing out a program or bulletin.
Ask for contact information. Consider a welcome desk at one or more entrances to the church.
The Transformation Challenge: What if everyone did this?
Think about it — when was the last time someone at your parish made you feel like you truly belonged? When did you last do that for someone else?
Here's my challenge to every Catholic reading this.
This Sunday, find one unfamiliar face and simply say hello.
Smile. Introduce yourself. Ask their name. That's it.
What would happen if all of us committed to this one tiny act?
Imagine walking out of Mass and instead of anonymous faces rushing out the door, you encounter:
- Warm smiles from strangers
- Genuine conversations after Mass
- People who remember your name
- A community that notices when you're absent
A ripple effect that could make all the difference
Could the secret to helping people become and stay Catholic be as simple as “be friendlier?”
I’m not sure, but I know that the results of this study will change my approach after Mass. I'm committing to smile and greet every unfamiliar face. I'll start conversations with anyone who seems alone.
I'm just one person, but what if you joined me? What if thousands of Catholics reading this decided to become “connection ambassadors” in their parishes?
How would it change our parishes — and through them, how would it change our Church?
