Reorganizing a room we haven’t overhauled in years, my wife and I came across a handout from a retreat one of us attended decades ago, when we were newly married. It gave a great bullet-point rundown of relationships in our lives, so I filled it out a little bit to share.
It said, “Begin again to build the relationships in your life.”
Our lives are filled with new beginnings: A new school year, a new Church year, a new calendar year — even a new month, a new week, or a new day can work.
First, ask yourself about your relationship with the Father.
God the Father is the creator of everything I can see, touch, smell or feel. I am walking through a world shot through with the beauty, truth, and goodness that emanate from him. Am I grateful? I pray daily that his kingdom will come such that his will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Am I doing that part, in my circle of influence, to make that happen?
Thank the Father daily and look for opportunities to help him bring his loving order to your life.
Second, ask: Am I staying close to God the Holy Spirit?
My Baptism and confirmation guarantees that I will receive the gifts of faith, hope, and love and the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit — but like any gift, I have to open it and learn to use it. Do I ask the Holy Spirit to give me the docility to receive and act on these gifts from him?
Pray for the gift to see with his wisdom, accept with his understanding, speak with his knowledge, act with his right judgment, persevere with his fortitude, to be consoled by piety, and to be reverent with fear of the Lord.
Third, ask: Am I centered on Jesus Christ, the Son of God?
We should get to know Christ intellectually with our mind; affectionately with our heart; faithfully with our moral choices; and enthusiastically, sharing our faith with others. Each takes time and focus, studying, praying, acting, and serving.
Find a way to learn about Jesus more — a podcast, Bible study, or book study — and invite someone to join you.
Fourth, ask: How are my family relationships?
With family members, I should be pleasant in my words and actions when I speak to them, attentive and open when I listen to them, respectful when I think or speak of them, and available when they need me. If I’m not, why not? These are also the first people I should share my faith with. How can I do that in a winning and attractive way?
Thank God in specific ways for each family member in prayer — then maybe tell them what you are thankful for.
Fifth, ask: How can I improve my witness at work?
As a lay person, it is my task to “work for the sanctification of the world from within as a leaven.” Work is my mission field, the field of my apostolic activity, the place where I live my vocation. The first way to do that is to be consistent with moral principles, leading first by example and then, when necessary, with words.
Mother Teresa said, “The miracle is not that we do the work, but that we are happy to do it.” Pray for that miracle in your life.
Sixth, ask: How are my social relationships?
Friendships can be spiritually saving — or spiritually sapping. Our job is to give God a role to play even here by serving others instead of using them, by encouraging others instead of merely complaining, and by gently steering conversations away from gossip and unhelpful negativity.
Jesus was the model friend: traveling, dining, and cooking out with and serving for others. He can help us do likewise.
