Prayer can be frustrating for some of us, as we try to pray a whole litany of prayers, but nothing seems to happen. We might think that God isn't listening to us, as we don't hear any audible voice respond to our incessant pleas.
This is a common frustration with prayer, especially for those of us who rely on praying our Rosary every day and who have a list of prayers we pray from our favorite prayer book.
One alternative that you may or may not have tried is to simply rest in the presence of God. This could involve sitting down and enduring the silence of your house, or it could include something that occupies your hands, such as knitting or even drawing.
Knitting before the face of God
Orthodox bishop Anthony Bloom relates a story in his book Beginning to Pray, where an old woman approached him and explained how she would pray every day, but never felt God's presence in her entire life. He gave her the following advice:
Go to your room after breakfast, put it right, place your armchair in a strategic position ... light your lamp before the icon that you have and ... then take your knitting and for 15 minutes knit before the face of God, but I forbid you to say one word of prayer. You just knit and try to enjoy the peace of your room.
While it may seem simple, it is probably one of the most difficult things to do. Many of us think that for prayer to be "successful," we need to pray our daily vocal prayers (out loud or in our minds), a few Rosaries, and complete our current novena.
Yet, what Bloom asked the old woman to do is to only sit in the silence.
Later the woman came back to him and related her experience:
I felt so quiet because the room was so peaceful ... so I began to knit. And I became more and more aware of the silence ... and then I perceived that this silence was not simply an absence of noise, but that the silence had substance ... The silence around began to come and meet the silence in me ... All of a sudden I perceived the silence was a presence.
The goal of the experiment was not to "empty" herself into a void, but to encounter God in the stillness. Similar to how the prophet Elijah did not find God in the earthquake, or fire, but in the still small voice.
We need to remember that prayer needs to be a relationship, where we not only talk, but listen. The more we spend time simply listening to God, we will be able to feel his presence and hear his promptings in the depth of our hearts.
Next time you sit down to pray, consider abstaining from you usual prayers and only listen to God. If you need to do something to occupy your hands, try knitting or drawing, something that will calm your mind and let it be at peace.
