Lent 2026
Aleteia needs your help to share the Good News.
For our mission to continue, we need it to become yours.
Joaquín and Karina began their journey as spouses at a very young age; she was 20 and he was 24. After eight years together, they decided to separate and begin the process of annulment.
Their first attempt at marriage
Karina tells Aleteia that they felt a lot of love and friendship for each other when they first decided to get married. However, they also bore very deep inner wounds that needed to be healed.
“We hid behind fun and alcohol,” she says. “We had no idea what the commitment of marriage really meant. When problems arose, we didn't have the tools to deal with them. We didn't know ourselves, nor did we know why we reacted in certain ways.”
Breaking up
They soon came face to face with a reality: They weren't ready for mature love or for the commitment that marriage entails.
“Our unhealed wounds began to clash, and without a living relationship with God, without that personal work, we simply couldn't sustain ourselves. It was necessary to stop and let everything break down in order to rebuild.”
After some time, and with an eight-year-old daughter, they made the decision to separate. They maintained a relationship of care and respect, even as each rebuilt their lives with new partners.
Transformed by encountering God
Then came the moment that changed everything. They met the Lord.
“When we met the Lord, everything changed. We left our new relationships because we wanted to live in grace. Joaquín didn't want to get back together at that time, so we began the process of marriage annulment.”
However, when they went to sign their annulment, they had a powerful encounter with the Holy Spirit.
We prayed and gave the decision to God, and He performed a miracle. Joaquin says that a blindfold was removed from his eyes. We understood that God did not want us to abandon the family He had formed. It was a new yes, but it was not easy. We had to heal, do a lot of therapy, and have many personal encounters with God. We had to die to who we were so that He could make us new.
Karina acknowledges that the process was difficult, because the devil used those fears and wounds to fill them with doubts: to make them believe that things would not change and that, if they chose each other again, history would repeat itself.
In my case, I was already broken, deeply depressed, even though I appeared to be fine. When I encountered true love — the love that is God — I understood that I had never known how to love because I had never known Him. Upon knowing Him, I was able to see Joaquín through His eyes and begin to love him as He loved him.
Getting married again, for real this time
Guided by God, they decided to seek sacramental marriage, this time with the necessary understanding and maturity for validity, with Jesus at the center. Today, their married life is completely different.
We know that if we love Him, He gives us the love to love each other. Now we don't look to each other to fill our emptiness. When we face any problem, we go to God first. Jesus is our rock, which is why our relationship is new. God made us new. There is no going back to the old version of us.
In their daily lives, they actively seek the good of the other person, their growth and development, so that they may become the people God wants them to be, and thus fulfill their purpose in life. “We want to be a beacon for each other, support in difficult times, healthy people who sustain each other based on love, not on need.”
It is no longer just about “us,” they say, “but about loving the other so much that you long for them to flourish, to fulfill their calling. And all of that is only possible because love comes from God.”
God has to come first in each spouse’s life
From this experience, Karina has learned that, although marriage is between two people, inner work and relationship with God are personal and individual. If each spouse doesn’t do his or her part, the relationship can fracture.
“If there’s no deep encounter with Him, if the inner wounds aren’t healed with His light, it’s very difficult to sustain a healthy and true relationship.”
“The most dangerous wounds are unhealed childhood wounds, because we project them onto the relationship. We expect the other person to heal them, but only God can do that,” Karina says. “If we don't work on them, we end up burdening the other person with something that’s not their responsibility,” she warns.
She also recognizes that opening a door to divorce, to other people, vices, or idols such as work, divides the heart and opens a door for the devil to tempt us.
Crisis as an opportunity to be transformed by God
Both emphasize that a crisis, rather than an ending, is an opportunity, because the breaking point is the perfect place for God to rebuild from scratch:
A crisis can be a way out or a gateway to a new story, to a deeper healing than we ever imagined. If we take it as a path, it can be the beginning of something much more beautiful than it was before. But we have to walk together.
They also advise thinking things through and taking a step back from the bad feelings:
In the midst of the storm, don't forget the good things you have experienced. It's easy to see the negative when everything hurts, but remember the love that brought you together. Write it down, pray with it, and ask Jesus to show you the way. It’s not a matter of returning only out of habit or necessity; it’s a matter of allowing God to make that marriage new, to cleanse it, to purify it, and to elevate it.
Their advice for other couples
Karina and Joaquín encourage other couples in crisis to seek a deep encounter with God, to seek professional help, and not to lose hope.
We want to tell you, from our experience, that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Even if everything feels dark right now, even if it seems like there’s no way out, there is. But it takes courage. It takes faith. It takes willingness to work, to look inward, to let God mold you. Restoration is real, but it doesn't happen without decision, without humility, and without a process.
And if only one of the two believes in restoration, one is enough. One who prays. One who surrenders. One who heals from the root. One who seeks God with all their heart. Because that example transforms. That example draws others in. That example can be the spark that awakens something new in the other. Change is not imposed, it is inspired.
After all this journey, they conclude that “God keeps his promises and makes everything new, but we have to allow ourselves to be molded by Him.”
