“Oh, no, I can’t go to that event,” my friend said. “Matilda will be there, and one time she said something really rude to me. I just can’t deal with being around her.”
Does this sound familiar? We’ve all been on the receiving end of rude comments, whether from friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors, or random people on the street or on social media.
And sometimes, it makes sense to avoid the person who said it. If someone has a persistent habit of hurting you with mean words, then it might make sense to protect your peace and steer clear.
But most of the time, that’s not what’s happening. Most of the time, someone said something kind of rude or hurtful because they’re just not really thinking about it, or they’re projecting their own experiences onto you.
Extending mercy in small things
I recently found myself feeling hurt by comments made at a social event. But when I stepped back to think it through, I realized that the person hadn’t meant to be hurtful. They just had wildly different experiences than I do, so what was right for them was not right for me. We can never know someone's intentions, because intentions are known only to them and God.
Yet how easy it is to get offended! People so often say thoughtless or insensitive things (I know I have!). It’s tempting to hold onto grudges and refuse to associate with So-and-So anymore.
But this feast of St. Faustina has me thinking a lot about Divine Mercy. St. Faustina was a Polish nun who witnessed visions of Christ’s mercy in the 1930s. She reported him saying:
My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy … Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come from the very depths of My most tender mercy.
There is no sin God will not forgive, if we ask.
And we know that, as Christians, we are called to act like Jesus.
If Jesus is willing to give us so much mercy, how can we hold back our mercy from other people?
Perhaps it is time to be the “bigger person” and overlook the little snide comments and insensitive remarks that come our way. Practicing mercy in this way builds up our families and communities as we don't let small things get in the way of strong relationships.
Forgiving as Christ does
When I think of imitating Christ’s Divine Mercy, I think of one of my favorite books, Kristin Lavransdatter.
There is a beautiful scene where a husband and wife become reconciled with each other after many years of misunderstandings and disunity. When the wife asks the husband how he could find it in himself to repeatedly forgive her, he says, “I thought about all the times I had betrayed Christ.”
These words seem to capture the heart of our own participation in Divine Mercy.
How can we participate more fully in God’s mercy? How can we forgive others as freely as Christ does?
We can be quick to overlook faults, especially small offenses someone may not have intended to be hurtful.
We can make excuses for others, assuming positive intentions: “Perhaps she’s just having a bad day. She didn’t mean to be rude.”
When we “just can’t deal” with being around someone, we can offer prayers for them instead — and hopefully our forgiveness as well.
And most of all, we can let go of our grudges, remembering that Jesus taught us to pray that we shall be forgiven according to how we forgive others.
St. Faustina, missionary of Divine Mercy, pray for us!
