Feeling lonely? Quick — find your ‘3rd place!’

There is a reason why classic TV shows like Cheers, Seinfeld, and Friends were once so incredibly popular; it's the same reason their re-runs are still being watched today. They speak to our innate human need for emotional connection, community, and a deep sense of belonging. It's no surprise all three of these shows strongly utilize a "third place" -- a meeting spot that @genuinely.healthy defines as "a gathering place other than work or home." In Cheers, it's a bar; Seinfeld, a diner; and Friends, a coffee shop. 

The Cheers' theme song's chorus "Sometimes you wanna' go where everybody knows your name ... and they're always glad you came ..."  predates and is echoed by Friends' "I'll be there for you!" 

Seinfeld's opening song doesn't have lyrics. Rather, it's a creative bass riff that varies show to show.

But one thing all these classic sitcoms have in common is that they portray characters from varied walks of life finding love, support, and a sense of belonging within a nuclear group of people with whom they share no blood relation -- and much of this meaningful connection occurs in a "third place."

Cheers' final episode aired in 1993; Seinfeld in 1998; and Friends in 2004. Since then, one would be hard-pressed to find a TV series that utilizes an ensemble cast regularly meeting in a "third place" in such a soothingly meaningful and predictable way. In the past two decades, "third places" in real life have largely been replaced by social media. And since art imitates life (and life imitates art) ... well, it's no wonder that study after study shows we're all so terribly lonely.

These thoughts were running through my mind this past summer when my local park was under construction, and I couldn't figure out why I was always feeling oddly isolated. I didn't realize it, but I was missing out on all the unplanned playdates with other moms and their kids that I had taken for granted for many years. I couldn't put a finger on why I felt so adrift until I came across this compelling meme put out by the already mentioned lifestyle platform @genuinely.healthy:

I was so moved by this simple meme's message that I shared it on social media with the following question: "Hey, what's your 'third place'?"

I knew mine was the already mentioned park up the street where I've met some of the most important friends in my entire adult life. But it was cool to learn about other peoples' "third places." Perhaps some of the following ideas will help you find this important facet of community too:

Kathleen wrote: "Thinking of small town life, it might have been the grocery store, or on Sundays, outside the church doors after Mass. Gosh, how us kids hated that 'visit' time, but for my parents it was the main time of the week to check in with neighbors."

Karen added: "We don't have mail delivery to the street in my small town. We must go to the post office to retrieve our mail. While we're there, we greet others and also talk to the postmaster and postmistress, both of whom are very friendly with dog treats too. Twice it has been voted down in city council meetings to have street delivery. Townspeople love socializing."

George wrote: "Our 'third place'' was an underpass when I was a kid. Now it's church potlucks."

Ajani said: "The library! I feel so much peace and joy there. The kids get so excited to go!"

Regina closed out the thread: "It was my Grandma's back porch swing. All the cousins sat together while the adults would play cards in the house. Sometimes you were able to watch a thunderstorm!"

Reading all these comments, I found myself reflecting on the importance of community. God's own triune nature as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is one of perpetual community. It's no wonder that we humans who are made in his image and likeness suffer tremendously in isolation.

So, whether it's a park or a pub or a front porch swing, ask God to show you your "third place." You're sure to be glad you did!