Recently, the Strazberger family welcomed me with open arms at their home in Slovenia. A little over 16 years ago, mother Darja and father Matjaž became parents to twins Anže and Enej, who have cerebral palsy.
Because of their condition, the family had to overcome enormous obstacles — from financial to organizational and health-related. But when I enter their living room, I don't feel like I've entered the life of a family dominated by the fact that their children are in wheelchairs, but rather one dominated by mutual connection and joyful living.
Darja serves me a delicious freshly baked apple pie, and Matjaž starts a relaxed conversation about this and that. Anže and Enej are delighted that I like basketball and can't wait to show me how they play NBA 2K26 on their laptops.
The twins recently started training in the Paralympic sport of boccia, which is most similar to classic bocce. It all started as a hobby, but today the boys train regularly and achieve exceptional results. They already have a huge collection of medals and trophies to show me.
Their latest remarkable success is Anže's silver medal and Enej's fourth place at the 7th European Para Games in Turkey. Their big dream is to compete in the Paralympic Games!
The gift of being brothers
Aleteia: Anže and Enej, what’s it like to have a twin brother? What do you like most about your relationship, and how often do you "get into each other's hair"?
Anže: It's great because we can help each other and stand by each other even when things get tough. It's also important that we are good friends and get along well. Sometimes we argue when one of us wants to be in charge, but then we come to an agreement and say, "First my brother, then me." I think it's great that we have each other, that we're not alone. Because school is often difficult, at least we have each other to support us.
Enej: Everyone else at school has special needs too. Some don't speak at all or are completely in another world. We also get annoyed by the ignorance and envy of some of them. That's why it's so much easier to have each other. We often stand by each other. I also like that we compete individually in sports and are competitive; that's where our competitiveness comes out. We mainly argue when we play games.
Enej: Anže is very friendly and loves me very much. He's really great. I love sports, but what I love most in the world is my little brother. Anže is my greatest gift. I think we’re each other's greatest gift. We also love our parents very much; they’re very kind, fun, and supportive. We’re grateful that we found a sport that makes us so happy.
Matjaž (dad): If everyone loved and understood each other as much as Anže and Enej do, the world would be a much better place.
Family comes before disabillity
Darja, Matjaž, how did you accept the fact that your boys have cerebral palsy?
Darja: I didn't immediately know what to expect. You feel afraid because you don't know what kind of damage has been done, and no one could really tell us. I heard the diagnosis: cerebral palsy. At the time, I didn't even know what that was, as I had never had any contact with people with special needs before.
It was difficult because we only heard bad things. No one said anything comforting, only that they’d have problems with movement, development, that they might be in a "vegetative state," that they wouldn't be able to eat on their own ... Everything was negative, everyone only talked about the problems; no one talked about the fact that we had had children.
They even offered us the option of putting the children in an institution and starting a new family. That hurt us deeply. Anže and Enej were our children and we never thought we would want other, "healthy" children.
Matjaž: They are our children, and if we gave them up, we’d no longer be a family. Their self-confidence would be severely damaged, and the loss would be felt in all areas of their lives. Today, precisely because we made a conscious decision to keep them, they’re wonderful boys.
The challenges of special needs
What was their childhood like?
Darja: It was very difficult. Matjaž had a job in Novo Mesto and was often away for several days at a time. He worked hard so that we could pay all our bills. I was alone with the children in Ljubljana. I went to work, and I took the children to kindergarten in the morning. We lived on the fifth floor of an apartment building, and every day I had to carry them up and down the stairs and to the car, and when I carried one, the other cried.
They were often restless in the car. There were no designated parking spaces for disabled people ... I had no one to help me. I worked a lot at my job, then rushed to the store, cooked lunch, and picked up the children. Then I took care of them until the evening, exercised with them…
I realized that this wasn’t sustainable, as I was on the verge of burnout. When they were three years old, we moved to Zagreb, as we had therapy there. In Zagreb, the results of the therapy finally began to show, as the boys were developing nicely.
Finding the right path
Matjaž: During all this time, we felt a great deal of injustice in many areas, from the exorbitant prices of private therapy sessions to the fact that you only get help for one child; no one considers that you have two children with the same condition.
Darja: We also went to Missouri in the US for two months, and the treatment and operations made their lives much easier. You can still see the difference today. After returning from America, we spent a month at URI Soča for rehabilitation, and then we went back to Zagreb.
After returning from Zagreb, we moved from an apartment block to this house, which we had to completely adapt for the twins. There was a lot of renovation work.
Anže: A large part of our childhood was taken away from us.
Darja: But we’re proud that they finished primary school within a special program, and enrolled in secondary school to become technological process assistants. Then we plan for them to become computer scientists. School is our primary focus, alongside sports.
Sources of strength and inspiration
Where did you draw courage and strength when things were at their hardest?
Darja: I don't go to church, but when they were little and I was alone, I prayed a lot. Prayer helped me a lot because I felt that someone was with me and helping me.
Otherwise, the twins are our inspiration. They teach me many things — for example, that I can't rush things. I have to wait; I can't be as scattered as I used to be.
I have to be with them, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world or that my life is any worse. It's just different, and enriches me in a different way. I don't miss my old life at all. Above all, I’m infinitely grateful to be a mother, because when I was young, my greatest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to have children.
Matjaž: I "came to terms" right from the start with the fact that this is how things are. Unfortunately, it often happens that families break up in such situations, with men being the ones who leave more often. In all these years, I’ve never for a moment thought of leaving my family and creating a "better life" for myself.
We’re an example to many families, and I’m particularly moved when someone tells us that our story has changed their life and that they now appreciate everything they have more. That’s what keeps me going. Above all, I’m learning gratitude, because nothing can be taken for granted.
A challenge, not an obstacle
Your family is proof that cerebral palsy is far from being an obstacle, and can actually be an opportunity. How did you as parents convey this mindset to your children?
Darja: We let them know that they’re no different from those who can walk. They’re human beings too. I don't like it when people see someone in a wheelchair and say that they’re poor things. Pity bothers me because it doesn't motivate anyone. I have a lot of hope and I can see how the boys are progressing. They’re far from being incapable of doing anything, as people are quick to conclude.
Matjaž: It’s also important to note that every person is an individual. The two of them are also different from each other, each with their own personality, abilities, and life.
Success at boccia
Some time ago, you discovered a very special passion together: boccia. What does it mean to you?
Darja: It all started as an idea and a hobby. When the boys started bringing home the equipment, I was initially skeptical and thought it was a waste of money, but I quickly saw how much joy it brought them. When the results started coming in, it was even better.
We’re just at the beginning of this journey, and I’m looking forward to all the new successes, because we’re really motivated. But we’re also aware that it won't always be smooth sailing; we have to be prepared for setbacks too.
Anže: This sport means success to us, and we really enjoy it.
Enej: And we want to keep getting better, which is why we love training so much.
Matjaž: Boccia has brought our family closer together. All four of us are working hard and doing what we can in our own areas to get even better. Attending competitions is also an opportunity for family outings and trips that we probably wouldn't have otherwise. Together, we get to know new cultures and spend a lot of time together.
