5 Catholic ways to deal with ungrateful children

You cook the meals, wash the clothes, drive the carpool, locate the missing soccer cleat, and somehow still your children want more from you. You might be left with that feeling that it's never enough.

But don't despair! Ingratitude from children is hardly a modern invention. In fact, even saints had to deal with it.

Take St. Mathilde, a 10th-century queen and mother of five. After her husband died, two of her sons turned against her. They even stripped her of her possessions and sent her to live in a convent, accusing her of giving too much money to the poor.

It would have been understandable if she had reacted with bitterness. Instead, she responded with remarkable calm, saying:

In other words, she didn’t pretend the situation was easy — but she trusted that even difficult children could still be part of God’s plan.

While most of us are unlikely to be exiled by our offspring, St. Mathilde’s reaction offers a surprisingly helpful starting point. Here are a few Catholic-inspired ways to keep your sense of humor — and your sanity — when gratitude seems in short supply.

Parents throughout history have complained about the same thing: children who don’t realize how much is done for them. In fact, raising grateful children is something every generation has had to work at.

So if your child rolls their eyes at dinner or sighs when asked to empty the dishwasher, take heart. You’re not raising the only ungrateful human on the planet. You’re raising a normal one.

St. Mathilde didn’t respond to her sons’ rebellion with dramatic speeches or revenge. She kept doing what she believed was right — helping the poor and praying for her children.

Sometimes the most powerful parental response is simple consistency. Keep loving, keep guiding, keep showing the values you hope they’ll one day appreciate. They may notice more than you think.

One underrated parenting strategy is humor. Children can be unintentionally hilarious in their ingratitude. The child who complains about dinner may later ask for seconds. The teenager who insists you “never do anything” will still text you when they need a ride.

A little laughter can defuse the tension and remind you that these moments are temporary.

Gratitude isn’t automatic; it’s learned. Simple habits — saying grace before meals, thanking someone who helped you, writing a thank-you note — gradually shape how children see the world. Over time they begin to notice the good things around them instead of assuming everything simply appears by magic.

And yes, this process sometimes takes years.

Parents rarely get instant feedback. A child who seems ungrateful today may become the adult who suddenly calls to say, “I finally understand what you did for us.”

Even St. Mathilde eventually saw reconciliation. Her children later regretted their treatment of her and restored her honor. Which is a comforting reminder: the parenting story is rarely finished in the middle chapters.

In the meantime, if your child complains about the dinner you cooked or the ride you just gave them, take a deep breath. Saints have survived worse.

And who knows? One day they may even say thank you!

If you need a little support from other parents, then take a look at these fun confessions from parents on their parenting styles!