Becoming a person who does new things

It isn’t that I unreasonably think we can jump wildly into daring new activities every single day. I don’t necessarily need to go bungee jumping or cliff diving or learn a new language in order to have a meaningful existence. In fact, I think there’s something troubling about the need to experience constant novelty, as if there’s something inside of us we aren’t content with so we strike out in all directions as a form of self-soothing. Happiness isn’t novelty and it isn’t opposed to repetitions and rituals. It’s deeply rooted. If approached with the right attitude, the deepening patterns of ours lives are like a furrow etched into soil, ever more fruitful. They keep us vibrant and spiritually young. As Chesterton says, there’s something delightfully youthful in watching the same sun come up over the horizon yet another morning and cheering it on with gratitude.

But there’s a difference between the deep contentment of ritual patterns and being stuck in a rut. There’s always space within our daily commitments for new experiences and personal growth. I wake up each morning and have my ritual cup of coffee, but instead of scrolling my phone and reading the same old boring newsfeed, I can pick up that new book I’ve been meaning to start. Throughout the week, there are opportunities to pull out my sketchpad and draw, go on a bike ride, play piano, and learn Latin. There is always something new and exciting. The variety of life is endless.

The only problem is that my idea of who I can be, including the new endeavors I ought to be exploring, is very different than my actual choices. The energy required to try new things is scarce and I often talk myself out of spending it. I convince myself that I’ve had a long day, I’m tired, I deserve to do nothing and relax. With this sort of attitude, over the years our lives become smaller and smaller. We no longer grow. Because we fall into longstanding habits of stagnation, even when we desire to break loose, we cannot.

I motivate myself to keep reading good books by asking myself why I want to read a new book. Why is the effort worth it? I know there’s something to be gained from reading -- a broadening of my mindset, a new perspective.

I also ask how. How do I overcome my reluctance and actually pick up the book? I make it a firm habit because we cannot wait for motivation to magically appear. I’ll always be more motivated to look at my phone than read, so I need the habit to keep me moving in the right direction. To take a slightly different example, I’m a writer. I’ve written two books now, a few more are in the works. I’ve composed hundreds of homilies and essays for Aleteia. In order to write something new, I cannot passively wait for inspiration to strike. This is the path to frustration and writer’s block. To write, I sit down at my computer and I write. Often, I have no idea the shape the essay will take. I figure that out as I work. I try out sentences and delete them. I am attentive to the muse, and eventually the writing comes to me. By making writing into a habit, something new is given from some mysterious place. My job is to be ready and keep working.

When we’re young, everything is new. For a young person, the world is expanding. I’ve often wondered why, as a child, time moved so slowly. Summer lasted forever. The school year was endless. The constant novelty of childhood slows down time. Everything is new, everything exciting. Adults make the mistake of falling into the same routine day after day, so each one blends into the next. This is why life seems to be speeding past. Perhaps, if we make more time to try new things, time will slow down some. We can age more slowly and life can continue expanding.

We’re more reconciled to making mistakes when we’re young. It happens all the time, our teenage years are almost constant embarrassment because of growing pains (or at least mine were). Even that first job, the early days of marriage, and the first attempts at parenting are full of mistakes as we acquire new skills. Eventually, we master those skills - become veteran parents, advance in our career, develop a decent grasp of basic social expectations. We become less comfortable with making mistakes. We don’t want to appear helpless anymore. So, when we consider a new activity, we dread the thought of it. I have to admit, there’s something about being a middle-aged man struggling to learn Latin that has been challenging to my core identity.

But if we can become okay again with being terrible at something, that’s the key to freedom. Once I can openly admit that my middle-schooler knows more Latin than me, I’m set free to ask questions and begin improving. If we want to pick up new skill-sets, we had better get used to being humble.

A person who stands before the universe with awe and wonder is the sort of person who wants to experience it all. Wonder is the greatest motivator of all. Why do we want to become the sort of people who try new things? Because this world God has made just is amazing. Each morning is brand new, each breath an inspiration, and its beauty is without end.