Although perhaps not perfectly theological, the Prom analogy is simple, and something teens (and adults) can grasp immediately. Rarely do teens invest so much effort into preparing for something.
As a high school theology teacher, I always start my classes with an invitation to put any questions about the Church in a box (for anonymity). One of those questions usually includes something regarding what Purgatory will be like for us. The question can be a daunting one, but I happened upon an explanation that addresses Purgatory from a very teenage perspective.
Children's best learning is often very literal and focused on what is tangible; they often attach learning to what they can physically understand and visually see. For example, I remember in the second grade receiving my Baltimore Catechism, and how the illustrations were quickly saved in my brain. The picture of Purgatory had souls surrounded with flames and yet smiling all the while. It was a powerful image for a child -- frightening but persuasive -- and easy for a second grader to understand.
As the child grows into a teenager, however, the thought of being on fire even when you supposedly are loved by God can lead to a moment of rebellion. They question, “Who would want to burn me if they love me? And how can I be happy while I’m burning in Purgatory?” That literal image they saw as children has now met with reason, and they struggle to understand a mystery that even wise adults cannot fully comprehend.
When explaining Purgatory, you can’t escape that suffering is caused by sin, all the way back to Eden. Teens do understand well that choices have consequences. Still, how do you help teenagers relate to something that might seem wrong to them, as if a loving God just wants to scare you into obeying with a threat of punishment?
Well, my answer, although perhaps not perfectly theological, is simple: I talk about Prom.
Yes, Prom. You know the one: that dance the kids have dreamed about since middle school, as they imagined being named the Prom King or Queen. So many ridiculous Hollywood movies have convinced them this dance will be the great coming-of-age moment, where they'll be the most special person on the dance floor, and no one will be able to take their eyes off them.
So how does Prom help them understand Purgatory? It's actually a helpful analogy because when getting ready for Prom -- or perhaps Homecoming if the community focuses on that dance -- the kids start preparation months in advance.
Investing in the future
I walk them through their preparation a bit: First, you determine if you’ll be going with a date, your friends, or if you'll brave the event alone. Once you’ve nailed down your entrance strategy, you’ll need to spend money (a noteworthy but important loss) to purchase the perfect outfit. And of course you probably won’t find the perfect outfit in one shopping trip; it will most likely take several. If you’re going with a date, you’ll need to make sure your outfits match, so you can make the perfect entrance onto the dance floor. Yes, the time and financial investment is increasing.
Once you’ve got your outfit sorted, then you pencil in the entire day of Prom to prepare for the event. You need to book the hair salon well in advance to make sure you'll get the perfectly elegant updo or sharp haircut. The ladies will probably want to get the latest manicure that’s trending, so that’s more time (and money!). The boys will probably want to rent (or borrow) that sports car they always dreamed of and make sure the tank is full of fuel (more money). Of course, you’ve got to book the restaurant where you’re eating and make sure your group is all on the same page for getting Prom pictures, professionally done (more money!) or a parent’s help at the same location and the proper time.
After all appointments are complete, you can finally get dressed for the big night! When you went to the hair salon, you sat for hours getting your hair pulled up so tightly that it’s quite uncomfortable now, or as a boy, maybe the cut got a bit too close and nicked you, but that’s okay, because you’re excited about the night! You’re wearing the most uncomfortable clothes imaginable, tight and hugging, but that’s okay, because you’re feeling great and excited about the night.
You’ve spent all this money, time, effort, and concern all because you know Prom will be the night that changes your life, or at least a night you’ll never forget.
It's not hard for the kids to realize that if this much time, effort, money, and intention go into one simple dance, Heaven is infinitely more.
Just as with Prom, you don’t mind the effort ... the discomfort of wearing your hair up and spending a fortune on uncomfortable clothes, extra money on all the extra details ... still, you know the preparation for Prom is worth it all, part of the fun even.
Purgatory is that preparatory phase for Heaven. That’s why there’s joy in Purgatory. If you wait until the last minute to prepare for Heaven, just as with Prom, the consequences are greater, and so you will find more discomfort. The shoes won’t match quite right, or the clothes don’t exactly fit, or that sports car you wanted is gone.
But even then, you don’t mind. The joy you feel is palpable. You know any moment it will be time to head to the dance, and all your friends and family are waiting there for you to enter where you will be King or Queen, just like God will welcome you once you’re properly prepared for Heaven.
When I’ve explained Purgatory this way to teens, I've found that it really helps them to understand. They can see how both joy and discomfort can coexist, and how preparation, while it can be costly in more ways than one, is worth it.
