Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Aleteia
Monday 26 July |
Saint of the Day: Sts Joachim and Anne

‘Marriage is until death, not until you stop trying.’

Patrick

Deacon Greg Kandra - published on 08/04/16

Having just celebrated my 30th wedding anniversary a couple months ago, I found this post on Aleteia’s home page really struck a chord:

A long-married friend posted this on my Facebook wall recently: “Marriage is until death, not until you stop trying.” After I, also long-married, finished laughing, I took a moment to consider people whose marriages ended despite their trying very hard. After that, I considered some of the things that make love last—and who better to ask about those things than people whose marriages have lasted? Not surprisingly, their advice had similarities. We talked to long-married men, long-married women, and several marriage and relationship experts (most of them also long-married) about what lasting relationships take, and what people just starting out in their relationships should know about love. David, married 42 years, writer, Garrett Park, Maryland: “Don’t be afraid to go to bed angry. When you wake up the next morning, you may just realize you were being stupid. But if you argued it out the night before, with both people tired and ticked off, well, bad things can happen.” Jane, married 24 years, arts executive, Charlottesville, Virginia: “Find a way to show your love daily. A kiss every time you say hello or goodbye goes a long way. Even when you may dislike them at times (or them you).” Rosalind Sedacca, PhD, marriage counselor: “The secret to a lasting relationship is respect. Treating your partner with respect even when angry or upset with them makes all the difference to your relationship. Using respectful language when talking to them and respectfully listening to them when they disagree with you or have a differing opinion is crucial to lasting success.” Joe, married 46 years, retired broadcast executive, Washington, D.C.: “Everybody’s a pain in the [butt] sometimes.” Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, “The Marriage Doctors,” married 50 years: “The older you get, the more you begin to realize that you want and need companionship until the end of your life. Nobody wants to grow old alone. Friendship becomes of paramount importance as you mature. Growing old together with the one you love is a blessing not easily understood in youth.”

Read more. I’d just add the advice my wife and I gave the waitress at a restaurant when we celebrated an anniversary a few years back. The waitress asked us the secret to our long marriage.

I smiled and said “Patience.”

My wife added: “And prayer.”

Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read Aleteia.org every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...




Top 10
1
morning
Philip Kosloski
This morning prayer is easy to memorize
2
Daniel Esparza
5 Curious things you might not know about Catholicism
3
Joachim and Anne
Philip Kosloski
Did Jesus know his grandparents?
4
ORGAN
J-P Mauro
Reconstructing a 12th-century pipe organ discovered in the Holy L...
5
MACHAERUS
Daniel Esparza
3 Legendary pilgrimages off the beaten path
6
ŁACINA
Philip Kosloski
Why is Latin the official language of the Church, instead of Aram...
7
SAINT ANTHONY OF PADUA
Philip Kosloski
This prayer to St. Anthony is said to have “never been know...
See More