. . . now we have What Would I Say? — the app that sifts through your old Facebook statuses and comments, scrumbles them around, and makes them into new statuses which sound almost human, and almost just like you.
A couple of my favorites from SomechopBot (“Somechop” is my Facebook name because never mind):
“Benny has tucked her halfeaten apple inside my shirt and her hand in a bona fide theologian!” “Update he’s lost four new tires, and a skirt, two separate solutions, if possible.” “We’re just too stupid tired” “I too have children, we do the corrections I ask for, but never overreact, that’s me.” “Im just trying to persuade us NOT to make fake blood”
Honestly, I laughed even harder when I plugged in my husband’s Facebook statuses. It sounds just like him having an angry fever.
“No one but a giant, mustached man in a serious argument against sobriety.” “At 13, he was apprenticed to kill some maggots.” “The worst To be sure, if Herman Cain were the second helping on potato chips? Daddy Supper.” “Killed 97 zombies, not the next best day in some cases like the opposite of deodorant.” “Wonderpets, what do not support the current Pope.” “I need to find a 2002 Taurus station wagon and a shoot out”
Aw, go ahead, try it. All the cool kids are doing it, somewhat with a brittle and sticky anniversary, anyway.