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Thursday 15 April |
Saint of the Day: Bl. César de Bus

Super Caring Medical Student Designs Super Caring Uterine Assault Rifle, for the Ladies

Simcha Fisher - published on 09/04/13

Because when your heart is just full of pain for the plight of women, the first thing you do is design a medical assault rifle that fires a copper barb through her cervix

producing a continual low grade infection which will cause her uterus to expel any fertilized eggs, on the off-chance that sperm survived and an egg was released.  Your goal is to make it so easy to use that you don’t even have to be a doctor.

Of course, she may still want to follow up with a doctor if she experiences any of the common side effects of IUDs, such as severe cramps, infection, heavy bleeding, weight gain, irritability, uterine perforations, anemia, life-threatening ectopic pregnancy, and permanent infertility.  One woman discovered that the IUD had wandered right into her liver, the rascal. And one woman ended up having her sternum cracked open to retrieve the device that had migrated all the way into her rib cage.  Ha!  Ladies and their lady problems.

But basically, other than that, it’s one of the safest medical choices a woman can make.   Yes, it’s safe.  Didn’t I tell you it was safe?  Shut up and spread your legs, so I can aim this thing.

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