Aleteia logoAleteia logo
Aleteia
Thursday 15 April |
Saint of the Day: Bl. César de Bus

Super Caring Medical Student Designs Super Caring Uterine Assault Rifle, for the Ladies

Simcha Fisher - published on 09/04/13

Because when your heart is just full of pain for the plight of women, the first thing you do is design a medical assault rifle that fires a copper barb through her cervix


producing a continual low grade infection which will cause her uterus to expel any fertilized eggs, on the off-chance that sperm survived and an egg was released.  Your goal is to make it so easy to use that you don’t even have to be a doctor.

Of course, she may still want to follow up with a doctor if she experiences any of the common side effects of IUDs, such as severe cramps, infection, heavy bleeding, weight gain, irritability, uterine perforations, anemia, life-threatening ectopic pregnancy, and permanent infertility.  One woman discovered that the IUD had wandered right into her liver, the rascal. And one woman ended up having her sternum cracked open to retrieve the device that had migrated all the way into her rib cage.  Ha!  Ladies and their lady problems.

But basically, other than that, it’s one of the safest medical choices a woman can make.   Yes, it’s safe.  Didn’t I tell you it was safe?  Shut up and spread your legs, so I can aim this thing.

Support Aleteia!

If you’re reading this article, it’s thanks to the generosity of people like you, who have made Aleteia possible.

Here are some numbers:

  • 20 million users around the world read Aleteia.org every month
  • Aleteia is published every day in seven languages: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Slovenian
  • Each month, readers view more than 50 million pages
  • Nearly 4 million people follow Aleteia on social media
  • Each month, we publish 2,450 articles and around 40 videos
  • We have 60 full time staff and approximately 400 collaborators (writers, translators, photographers, etc.)

As you can imagine, these numbers represent a lot of work. We need you.

Support Aleteia with as little as $1. It only takes a minute. Thank you!

Daily prayer
And today we celebrate...




Top 10
1
LOREN SCHAUERS
Annalisa Teggi
Amputee from the waist down is thankful every day to be alive
2
SAINT FAUSTINA,CELL
Fr. Patrick Briscoe, OP
St. Faustina’s coffee cup and lessons for Divine Mercy Sund...
3
HOLY SEPULCHRE CROSSES
Zelda Caldwell
Mystery of crosses on walls of Church of the Holy Sepulchre may h...
4
PADRE PIO
Philip Kosloski
St. Padre Pio: His life, his miracles and his legacy
5
JESUS
Fr Robert McTeigue, SJ
A simple test to see if you really believe Christ is risen
6
DIVINE MERCY
Aleteia
Here’s how to celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday at home
7
PRINCE PHILIP
Cerith Gardiner
11 Interesting facts about the late Prince Philip
See More