A few weeks ago, I posted about a GoFundMe appeal for Nicole G. I took that post down a few days later. Here is an update from Nicole, which explains why I took it down, and updates us on her family’s situation.
I asked Simcha to remove her blog article about our family because it was very searchable via Google. I wasn’t worried about my estranged husband finding it. My 12 year old daughter, for some unexplainable reason, googled my name. She found Simcha’s article and the Go Fund Me page and found out the real reason her dad left our home. Up until then, only my oldest daughter who is almost 17, was the only one of my 6 kids who knew. She actually had an inkling about what was going on before I did, probably because I was in denial. My 12 year old was distraught and has spoken about it with her counselor twice since finding out and is coping better. She still has a lot of feelings to work through and is very angry with her dad. I want their relationship to be repaired, as I feel it’s important for my kids to have their dad in their lives, even with the issues he is dealing with. He definitely needs prayer also, that he gets his life together and gets right with God.
Surgery update. I had my first surgery on November 13th. The surgeon removed my right ovary & fallopian tube along with the 3 cysts. He got the pathology report back and it showed pre-cancerous cells in my ovary. He sent the tissue off to a pathologist who specializes in gynecological issues for a second opinion. If that dr shows the same results, I will have to have a complete hysterectomy and bladder repair. I am coming to terms with the fact that my fertility has come to an end, even though with no husband it was kind of a moot issue, but the finality of it all is saddening. IF the second opinion comes back saying there are no pre-cancerous cells, I will still have to have an ultrasound of the left ovary once every 6 months to watch it for any changes.
Next week, I am having a GI procedure with a specialist who does a procedure called a balloon enteroscopy. No one in our area does this, so I have to drive 250 miles to the nearest big city with a GI doctor who does this. It is a 2 hour procedure in which I will be under general anesthesia. Prayers are appreciated. My hope is that he can cauterize the source of bleeding that we *know* is present and most likely is the cause of the anemia I’ve had for 5 years, for which I had iron transfusions last spring. He also is going to investigate what the “abnormality” in the length of 15 cm in my small bowel is. My hope is that it is something that can be diagnosed and treated with medication (such as Chron’s, even though who hopes for Chron’s?) as opposed to something more invasive needing to be done. If he finds that the section needs to be removed (which was the recommendation of the GI doctor I see here) then I will undergo surgery in December to remove that 15cm + a little extra and then resection the small bowel. This will require a 7 to 10 day hospital stay. I’m most concerned about the logistics and finding someone to watch my children overnight (they will be in school during the day).
Update on legal issues: Thanks to your generosity, I was able to retain a very good attorney. I have given her so much paperwork I’ve gone through 3 ink cartridges already, with more to print off this weekend, lol. Our plan (and she is ok with this) is to wait until I know the results of my GI procedure to file the paperwork with the courts for a temporary order of support. My estranged husband has started giving me $400 per week, which is well under what the state will have him pay, but at least it is something and pays the bills, but with nothing left over. My FEAR is that once he is served with papers and the temporary support order, he will stop paying any money at all. Oregon doesn’t give non-custodial parents a choice in how they pay, they automatically garnish wages, but the system is slow and could take one month to 6 weeks before they garnish his wages. If he stops paying anything, because he is angry, I will have a month to 6 weeks of no income at all, even to pay bills.
I have also applied to the local community college and am going to start this spring (if all goes well with my medical issues) with ONE class, just to get my feet wet. I’ve never been to college, so I’m a little nervous on how it’s all going to go. Then next fall I will be starting an associates degree program so that I can get a well paying job when I am finished. The class I am starting with this spring is a pre-req to that program. I am busy filling out financial aid applications and scholarship applications, but none of those will go toward this spring class, they will all be for the 2015-2016 school year.
I decided to have my friend remove the Go Fund Me page for the same reason I asked Simcha to remove the blog posts about our family, even though we didn’t reach our goal. If you’d still like to help, any amount is appreciated. I also understand that a lot of people can’t help, but the most important type of help we need is prayer, and everyone can do that. If you’d like to help financially, you can do so through PayPal. My paypal address is firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also e-mail me if you’d like me to answer any questions or just to offer support. We don’t live near family and at times I feel so alone. Small words of encouragement help to lift my spirits.
Thank you all for the help you’ve given us and for all the prayers that have been said. God bless you all.