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I think if more people were honest like you, almost no one would say “I’m spiritual but not religious.” A lot of us would say “I’m religious, but not spiritual.” As you put it: “I find Catholicism beautiful and logically consistent with itself and with the world around me,” but, “My connection with my faith is totally intellectual; there isn’t much emotional there. When I pray, I don’t feel anything.” You ask, desperately: “How come nobody can admit Catholicism is hard? I reached the point of despair and an emotional breakdown because I thought I was alone in my imperfection. … Am I the only one who struggles, really? Am I the only one who thinks praise and worship music is actually bad and uninspiring, and doesn’t go to Mass for fun? Can we just please own it?” I think I understand what you are saying, because I think I see my own experience in it.
It is not uncommon for people to struggle with our faith. There are many of us who reach confirmation and don’t set foot in a church again until their wedding. One reason for this may be that our faith calls us to live a certain way, under specific teachings that challenge us to be more than we are and more than the world expects, which a lot of us feel unprepared for, even if we want to be. However, maybe the main problem and the root of all faith-questioning is the current Catholic hymnal. What do you think?