Poll: Does your parish leave Mass as quickly as possible?

On this very busy news day, Russel Saltzman has written a fun letter to Catholics leaving Mass in the style of The Screwtape Letters:

All we must do is scrutinize the behavior of those poor cretins when their hymn screeching is done as they leave the worship of our Enemy. As soon as (if not before) their priest says “Go in peace,” they jam the aisles, jostling, weaving, dodging, and bleating like lost children. A slow departing priest, do not question, they will trample him without scruple. (I have not seen this actually, but I do sometimes hear their unguarded thoughts.) But such is their passion, their urge, their single-mindedness to get to their car ahead of as many as they might; the priestly words launch them into a panicked upheaval. As is said in one of their own accounts, “Every man does what is right in his own eyes.” That exactly is what we seek, especially in the parking lot.

We must admit, while Saltzman paints a more fiendish image, we have noticed the mad rush to the door at the end of Mass. Have you?

With this in mind we would like to ask: