Spending some time one-on-one as a couple is not merely advisable, it's indispensable.
Do you feel that you can’t leave your children behind for a few days and go on vacation with your spouse? You might say, “Our parents live far away and we have no one to whom we can entrust our kids.” And maybe you’re right about that. Nevertheless, I’d like you to answer one question: Would you take care of your friends’ children for a couple of days so they could take a breather and recharge their batteries? Consider asking for help from those who would probably be happy to do the same for you. Rather than seeing it as burdening them, see it as an opportunity for them to be kind and generous!
What if this trip could make your kids happier?
The interesting thing about leaving your kids behind is that they’re often the ones who benefit most from it. Your kids will receive a pair of relaxed parents showing love for each other when you return. Conjugal love is the greatest gift that parents offer their kids. Being a good mother and father includes being a good wife and husband. And children feel safe when they grow up in a loving environment. A vacation away is also taken for the children. When you go, you can tell them you’re leaving for a short time to learn how to better love each other.
It’s also a good idea to look inside and examine the real reason you hesitate to go on a trip with your spouse. Is it the fear of traumatizing your children, or a false kind of guilt for taking time for yourself, or for daring to think about yourself? Or does finding yourself alone with your spouse make you uncomfortable for some reason? Whatever the reasons, it would be good to flush them out.
The benefit of romantic trips
All couples have dreams, and a trip without children is an excellent one. It allows you to devote yourselves to each other without worrying about work, bath times, and making dinner. Most importantly, you will have time to rediscover each other. In the midst of the daily grind, our partner can become like part of the furniture, someone we don’t pay much attention to. When transported into another setting, you can often see each other in a new light.
A get-away trip also allows for a better communication between spouses: when there are a lot of kids who take up a lot of space and make a lot of noise, the couple can’t hear the silence that can slowly develop between them. But in a pleasant ambiance, they can say the words of love that normally don’t come easily. They can also take stock of their relationship: each voicing his or her grievances, and talk them through. Finally, in the quiet, they can make important decisions.
So yes, you have the right to think of yourself and relax! Did not God Himself rest on the seventh day?
Father Denis Sonnet