Aleteia

If you lose your temper easily, these exercises could help

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These tips can help you to eliminate this poisonous habit in your life.

Losing your temper has been likened it to a disease that destroys the inner and the outer peace of all those who encounter it. But it’s possible to remedy this flaw without losing your personality.

Take a step back using some humor

The very fact of acknowledging and accepting the problem is the first step on the path to better control of your anger or frustration. The next step is detecting the detonators before they cause you to explode, and to know the physical signs that accompany your anger (breathing, heartbeat, etc.).

But often this is not enough to calm down, is it’s also important to learn how to take a step back with good humor. For example if you hear harsh words addressed to you, simply say: “What you’ve told me really hurts.” This is bound to confound the other, who doesn’t necessarily harbor any ill will.

In all these cases, you need to resist acting out in anger. But if you can’t prevent your anger from boiling over, you need to repair the damage caused by it. Most importantly, you need to quickly apologize, because forgiveness is the soothing ointment that allows one to move on with a lighter heart.   

Kindness and humility toward the other … and toward ourselves

More fundamentally, taking the advice of St. Francis of Sales, we should all work on developing the virtues of kindness and humility to prevent ourselves from exploding with anger. Let us treat others with kindness and humility instead of imputing bad intentions to them. And let us show some compassion for ourselves in appealing to God’s mercy.

Marie-Noël Florant (Marriage counselor)