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The phrase that keeps you from living in the moment with your children


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Edifa - published on 12/22/20

If we become more aware of these 3 little words, we can be more present to our kids each day.

“I can’t wait for the baby to sleep through the night.” “I can’t wait for him to walk.” “I can’t wait for her to go to school.” “I can’t wait for him to finish high school” “I can’t wait … ”

Do you often hear, or say, this typical, even banal, phrase?  These “can’t waits” instantly propel us into a time that is not yet given to us, that we cannot yet live, but which we begin to dream about. This sentence, so apparently benign, leads us to regret what we have right now, today, preventing us from enjoying its particular beauty.

Let’s savor this time, which is unique because it will soon pass

Choosing to be present in this day allows us to see its beauty, which makes no noise, sometimes hides, and requires a certain attitude on our part to see it. This desire to see the good and the beautiful through the difficulties of daily life requires an openness of heart, an attitude of a mother who decides to welcome what she is given to live. Surprisingly, the very same situation, the very same daily life, can be transformed by a positive outlook and become a source of wonder.

What a wonder, this little toddler cuddled in our arms, even in the middle of the night! What a joy to see her discover the world,touching everything! Let’s take the time to savor this time which is unique because it will soon be gone, and each period of life—ours and our children’s—is there for us to discover in all its richness. This attitude of soul is extremely reassuring for the child who cannot project himself into the future.

Let’s stop dreaming and start observing in a positive way

These “can’t waits” are not insignificant. They can denote an attitude through which we see the child: he or she will have the feeling that they are not the one we were hoping for, not the one they should be, since we are dreaming of something else. This little expression secretly weakens the bond of trust, makes the child worry that they do not correspond to what the parents want. So let’s take the time to admire our children, not only when they amuse us, but mostly because of who they are.

Let’s learn, from our children’s very first years, to master our language, and be eager to admire their qualities rather than only see their faults. We should stop dreaming and observe in a positive way. Joy will then be able to enter the home because life, their life, is beautiful! So as not to spoil it, let’s think about awakening and sharpening our children’s conscience by making them understand that not every desire is good, that choosing the good and accomplishing it gives joy. Let’s definitively leave behind the negative spirals that lead to death and let’s choose the life that brings us back to life!

Inès de Franclieu


Read more:
The Inuit’s secret parenting technique for dealing with temper tantrums

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