St Cajetan and living the virtue of courage

Once I became a priest, I quickly realized that I needed to pray for more courage. A lot more. Courage is absolutely necessary to the priesthood, as priests often must make difficult, unpopular decisions and put ourselves into tense scenarios.

I’ve held the hands of people as they died and then comforted their loved ones. I’ve never known what to say in those situations and wanted nothing more than to run away. I’ve had to inform people who were publicly living together before marriage that they needed to fix their situation before receiving communion. I have preached homilies on the sanctity of life and marriage that caused people to walk out in anger while I was still speaking. People have pressured and bullied me, attempting to get me to depart from my conscience. I was once told by a parishioner directly to my face that no one likes me.

This list of ways in which priests face pressure is common. I suspect every priest could write a similar list.

Now, I don’t mean for this to become a complaining session. I’m not making a bid for pity. Priests consistently rate their job satisfaction extremely high and I’m no exception. I love my vocation and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Mixed in with the challenges, I’ve also been the recipient of tremendous generosity, made great friends, had the chance to bond with families, and most importantly I’ve been able to live out the calling that God has placed in me. Whenever I’ve managed to act with courage, God has always taken care of me, and the parishes I’ve pastored have grown and prospered.

Even knowing that I should be courageous doesn’t mean I always have been courageous or wanted to be courageous. It’s much easier to go with the flow, never stand up to the crowd, and avoid accountability. For me, this means that even when I know what I need to do, I might hesitate. This lack of courage feels like I’m betraying myself, as if I’ve traded away my integrity and identity in order to avoid feeling embarrassed or facing adversity. This is why courage is so important – it’s a direct reflection of our interior thoughts, values, and moral commitments.

The virtue of courage encompasses every single area of our lives. My guess is that priests have it easy when it comes to courage. After all, we spend most of our time in the Church while the laity are out in the world working jobs and raising children. It takes courage to raise your children the way you think is right. It takes courage to work hard at your job, be responsible, and approach the work with honesty and integrity. It takes courage to not join in with family gossip. It takes courage to hold your faith and beliefs when all the sophisticated people on television and the media influencers label those beliefs naive or bigoted.

Courage is costly and, for that reason, rare. It can cost friends, reputation, and opportunities.

It seems to me that our modern era is particularly in need of more courage. Because social media spreads opinions so quickly, narratives quickly crystalize into a single approved opinion. Dissent from the narrative results in accusations of being a science-denier, racist, bigoted, or uneducated. This cost is why so many people quietly go with the flow even if they disagree with it.

I cannot tell you how many times people over the years have told me that they secretly agree with the teachings of the Church, or how they knew all along what I said in my homily was correct. As much as I appreciate the encouragement, I wish even more that those people had courage to say those things publicly.

Being aware of the temptation to bury our convictions to get along has led me to examine where I fall short in courage. I, too, have quietly kept my peace so I wouldn’t stand out. Alternatively, I’ve insisted on my own way instead of having the courage to listen, learn, and change. I have told lies to avoid confrontation. I’ve failed to make apologies because it seemed too difficult. It’s hard to know when and how to be courageous, and I don’t pretend to lecture anyone else on this topic.

All I know is that courage makes all our other virtues come to life, so we have to keep working at it.

St. Cajetan, whose feast day is August 7, is a great example. When he was 42, he left his assignment as a priest practicing law in the Vatican court system and joined a “disreputable” religious order. His family told him that he was ruining their reputation and tried to get him to change his mind. His friends joined his family and turned against him, too. I can only imagine the pressure he faced, but he held firm because he had the courage to pursue God’s plan for his life.

I, for one, prefer to live in a world of Cajetans than a world of “reputable” people. His courage is contagious. All courage is contagious. Think deeply about who you are, what you believe, and how to live your life, gently and kindly but with no compromise.

The world needs people who live by principle regardless of the cost, which is to say, the world needs you, unashamedly yourself, unique, valuable, and created by God for a specific purpose. So be courageous, because no one else can be you.