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What the great St. Teresa shows us about true friendship with Christ

Portrait of St. Theresa of Avila by Juan de la Miseria
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Theresa Civantos Barber - published on 10/14/24
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This funny story shows how close St. Teresa was to Jesus, and takes on a deeper meaning with her other writings about friendship with God.

There’s a funny-but-true story about St. Teresa of Avila that reveals so much about her relationship with God. She was known for her great sense of humor and cheerful spirit, and this story reveals her personality as well as her close friendship with Jesus:

As St. Teresa … made her way to her convent during a fierce rainstorm, she slipped down an embankment and fell squarely into the mud. The irrepressible nun looked up to heaven and admonished her Maker, “If this is how You treat Your friends, no wonder You have so few of them!”

While it’s a hilarious story, it also reveals how close St. Teresa felt she was to God. 

The story holds an even deeper meaning when we compare it to other things St. Teresa wrote about friendship with God.

A real friendship with God is not just asking him for favors. Are we thanking him for all he has given us? Are we taking time to really listen during our prayer? For myself, I know I can fall into the bad habit of treating my prayers as a time to list everything I want God to do for me, but that’s not the kind of relationship the saints had with God. St. Teresa’s writings about friendship with God give us a beautiful picture of how the saints approached prayer.  

1Bring everything to God

The saints had such an intimate friendship with God that they brought everything to him in prayer, even reproaches: “For a reproach, in the end, is simply our way of offering up to God our incomprehension of what he is giving us.”

When we are upset with how things are going in our lives, we can tell God; we can complain! God can handle our anger and frustration. 

This openness and constant communication, even reproaches at times, are a healthy sign of a true and honest friendship and a sincere belief in God’s presence. As St. Teresa wrote, “Unlike our friends in the world, he will never abandon us when we are troubled or distressed.”

At the same time, our goal is that ultimately our prayer will help us reach a point of acceptance and gratitude, as the Bible tells us: “In all circumstances give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). But if we don’t feel accepting and grateful at first, God is there with us through it all.

2With God we can endure any hardship

St. Teresa wrote, “If Christ Jesus dwells in a man as his friend and noble leader, that man can endure all things, for Christ helps and strengthens us and never abandons us.” 

By ourselves, perhaps the burden is too great, but God can give the strength we need.

I often think of this quote from Thomas Merton: “If you merely will it, you will be free forever, because the strength will be given you, as much as you need, and as often as you ask, and as soon as you ask, and generally long before you ask for it, too.” 

God’s grace is always available to strengthen us in facing any hardship: We have only to ask.

3With God’s help, we can do things that seem impossible 

St. Teresa wrote, “If at some time the Lord should grant us the grace of impressing his love on our hearts, all will become easy for us and we shall accomplish great things quickly and without effort.”

Sometimes what God is asking of us seems beyond our abilities. It might be more than we can do. But his love gives us the ability to do more than what seems humanly possible, to do what seems impossible, through true and honest friendship with him like that of St. Teresa.

St. Teresa encouraged daily mental prayer, or "prayer from the heart," an honest and forthright conversation with God. She encouraged starting with 15 minutes per day and slowly adding on more time. To begin building the kind of friendship she had with God, this 15-minute practice is a great place to start!

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