Visiting a grandparent in assisted living can be a wonderful way for children to stay connected with their family and learn valuable lessons about aging, compassion, and love. It can also provide a real moment of joy for their elderly relatives.
However, it’s also a unique environment that may be different from what children are used to. Therefore, it's important to prepare them ahead of time to help ease potential discomfort and allow them to focus on enjoying time with their grandparent.
With a little preparation, these visits can become cherished memories and opportunities for children to grow in empathy, patience, and understanding -- and, of course, bring a smile to the seniors they see. Here are some suggestions for how to prepare children for this special experience:
1Explain What Assisted Living Is
Children will most likely be unfamiliar with what assisted living means. A simple explanation like “Grandma lives in a place where people help her with things like cooking and getting around, so she can stay safe and healthy” can set the stage. Reassure them that it’s a friendly place where their grandparent is cared for and part of a community.
2Set Expectations for the Environment
Assisted living facilities may have wheelchairs, medical equipment, or residents who behave or communicate differently. They also may have more unusual smells -- especially strong cleaning products. Let children know that it’s normal and okay. You could say something along the lines: “You might see other people using walkers or needing help to move around. Some might seem quiet or sleepy, but others will say hello and want to chat.”
Encourage curiosity and remind them that showing kindness, like smiling or waving, is always a good way to make someone’s day. Remind them also of the importance of washing their hands and covering up those coughs and sneezes.
3Talk About Changes They Might Notice
If their grandparent has experienced changes due to age or illness, gently explain these beforehand. You could say “Grandpa’s memory isn’t as strong as it used to be, so he might ask the same question a few times, and that’s okay. We can help by answering with patience.”
You might need to prepare them for physical changes, too. Their grandparent might look more frail, or have problems walking.
By preparing children for these changes, they are less likely to feel confused or uneasy, which can make the visit more positive for everyone.
4Bring Activities or Mementos to Share
Visits often go best when there’s something to do together. Help your child bring along a small activity or item to share with their grandparent. Ideas include:
- Drawing pictures or coloring together.
- Looking through old family photos or sharing a scrapbook.
- Reading a favorite book aloud.
- Bringing a small craft or puzzle.
If the grandparent is willing and able, you might be able to get older children to pamper them a little by painting their nails or even doing their hair. These activities create opportunities for interaction, even if conversations are limited, and can make the senior members feel their part of family life.
5Teach Them to Be Good Listeners
Grandparents love to share stories from their past. Encourage children to ask open-ended questions like “What was school like when you were my age?” or “Can you tell me about your favorite holiday memory?” Listening attentively helps children connect with their grandparent on a deeper level and gives them insight into their family’s history, and they might even learn a thing or two!
6Be Ready for Quiet Moments
Sometimes, visits can feel quieter than expected, especially if a grandparent tires easily. Reassure your child that it’s okay to just sit together and hold hands or enjoy the silence. Presence itself is a gift. Of course, it could provide the perfect moment to pray together as a family, even if grandpa is asleep.
7Talk About the Importance of Respect
Children should know that they’re visiting a shared space where other residents also live. Encourage them to use indoor voices, respect personal space, and greet others politely. This reinforces manners and consideration, valuable lessons that will serve them well beyond the visit.
8Reflect After the Visit
Afterward, take a moment to talk with your child about how the visit went. Ask them how they felt, what they enjoyed, or if anything surprised them. This helps them process their experience and emotions, and it prepares them for future visits.
