Remember it’s also good to ask for help this holiday season

The holiday season that stretches from Thanksgiving into the New Year – and that roughly parallels the Church’s seasons of Advent and Christmas – is a time of joy and celebration. We gather with our loved ones, share food and gifts, and take a “time out” from the frenzies and concerns of everyday life.

Above all, if we are living according to the Church’s calendar, these days are a time to reconnect with God. And we are told that one of the essential ways to do this is by giving to others. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus explicitly instructs his followers to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, welcome strangers, and visit the sick and imprisoned. “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25: 40)

This command to serve has impressed itself upon secular society in general, so that “looking out for others” has become essential to how we conceive of this time of year. The most popular holiday tales bear this out. Ebeneezer Scrooge is redeemed when he gives up his selfish ways and opens himself to others. Each year, Santa Claus (a secularized St. Nicholas) devotes an exhausting 24 hours flying from house to house to distribute gifts. And when Frosty the Snowman comes to life, he spends his day frolicking with kids and making them happy rather than agonizing over his fate as the temperature rises.

Thanks to all these stories, even non-believers who have never opened a Bible or heard of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis understand the precept that “it is in giving that we receive.”

It's wonderful that people associate the holidays with giving, but we sometimes forget that asking for help from others can be an act of charity, too.

For instance, asking your kids to help you in the kitchen on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Eve is an act of love. It not only teaches your children responsibility but also lets them know they are a vital part of the holiday rather than mere observers.

Do you find yourself stuck at your desk for lunch as you scramble to get all your work done before December 25? Why not politely ask a co-worker to bring back some food for you when they take their lunch break (paying for your food, of course)? In asking someone else to do you a favor, you give them a chance to enter into the spirit of the season, whether they share your religious beliefs or not.

Even when we are doing good for others we can ask for help. If an elderly neighbor needs their sidewalk shoveled, for instance, you can freely invite another neighbor to pitch in. (Being cordial if they refuse.) With their help, not only will the job be more manageable, saving your lower back, but it can potentially build stronger bonds of friendship and community in your neighborhood.

This idea of "giving by asking" is also present in our secular holiday stories. To give a silly example, this is exactly what Santa does when he asks Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to help “guide my sleigh tonight.” Rudolph is delighted at the request. No longer a figure of mockery, he proudly takes his place at the head of the reindeer team, assured by all that he will “go down in history.” All because Santa asked him for help one foggy night.

On a more serious note, this is precisely what Jesus does when he asks us to join him in his mission to build the Kingdom of God. When Jesus invites Matthew the tax collector to “follow me,” Matthew does not hesitate because he realizes that his is the moment he was made for. We experience the same reaction when Jesus asks us to help him serve others. His request is not a burden but exalts us.

So, yes, by all means let’s make the holidays a season of giving, but let’s keep in mind that asking for help can be a way of helping others, too.