On this feast of the Holy Family, Pope Francis dedicated his midday Angelus address to a reflection on the family of Nazareth, proposing one simple characteristic to learn from them.
Here is the text of his brief address (emphases our own):
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Today we celebrate the Holy Family of Nazareth. The Gospel tells of when Jesus, at the age of 12, at the end of the annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem, went missing from Mary and Joseph, who found Him afterwards in the Temple conversing with the teachers (cf. Lk 2:41-52). The Evangelist Luke reveals the state of mind of Mary who asks Jesus, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety” (v. 48). And Jesus replies, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (v. 49).
It is an almost commonplace experience of a family that alternates between calm moments and dramatic ones. It appears to be the story of a family crisis, a crisis of our times, of a difficult teenager and two parents who are unable to understand him.
Let us pause to look at this family. Do you know why the Family of Nazareth is a model? Because it is a family that converses, that listens, that talks. Dialogue is an important element for a family! A family that does not communicate cannot be a happy family.
It is good when a mother does not start with a rebuke, but with a question. Mary does not accuse and does not judge, but tries to understand how to accept this Son who is so different, by listening. Despire this effort, the Gospel says that Mary and Joseph “did not understand what He said to them” (v. 50), showing that in the family it is more important to listen than to understand.
Listening is giving importance to the other, recognizing his or her right to exist and think autonomously. Children need this. Think carefully, parents: listen to your children, who need this!
Mealtimes are a special moment for dialogue in the family. It is good to stay together around the table and to speak. This can solve many problems, and above all unite the generations: children who speak with their parents, grandchildren who speak with their grandparents … Never remain closed in on yourself or, even worse, with your head turned to your mobile phone. This will not do, never, never this. Talk, listen to each other, this is the dialogue that is good for you and that makes you grow!
The Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is holy. And yet we have seen that even Jesus’ parents did not always understand Him. We can reflect on this, and let us not be surprised if at times it happens that we do not understand each other. When it happens, let us ask ourselves: have we listened to each other? Do we confront problems by listening to each other or do we close up in silence, at times in resentment and pride? Do we take a little time to converse? What we can learn from the Holy Family today is mutual listening.
Let us entrust ourselves to the Virgin Mary and ask for our families the gift of listening.
