The weeks after welcoming a new life into the world are a beautiful yet overwhelming time.
I’m a few years removed from my last pregnancy, but several of my friends had babies in the past few months. I reached out to them to ask what helps them the most in this intense but temporary season.
If you’re in the “fourth trimester,” here are five small things you can do to greatly improve your mood and sense of well-being.
(And I have to plug one of the most helpful things I've ever read about the postpartum period: "How to postpartum like a boss" by Blythe Fike.)
1Get dressed in clothes every day and pajamas at night
One of the most powerful acts of self-care is surprisingly simple: getting dressed, even if it happens at noon, and changing into pajamas at night, even if you’re going to bed at 8 p.m. This small ritual brings a sense of order to the chaos.
2Spend as long as you can in bed each night
If your baby is waking up at night a lot, it can help to go to bed early and stay in bed as late as you can, so as to get as many blocks of sleep as possible.
Even if your baby is waking up every 2-3 hours, you can get 6-8 hours of sleep (broken up into smaller chunks) by staying in bed from, say, 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. You might not need to do this every night, but it can be a great strategy when you're extra tired.
“I’m reasonably well-rested using this method,” said my friend whose baby is two months old.
3Keep quick and easy nutritious snacks on hand
Stock your kitchen with nourishing, easy-to-grab foods that support your body's recovery. You might opt for nuts, yogurt, bananas, carrots and hummus, and fresh berries. You won’t have much time to prep elaborate dishes, but eating nutrient-dense foods will heal your body and uplift your mood.
4Say yes to help
Our culture of independence can make us reluctant to accept assistance, but this season is one of the times of life when you need help the most. When friends offer a meal, when family wants to hold the baby so you can shower, when someone offers to take your older kids to the park – say yes.
5Take shortcuts
Take the “easy option” whenever you can, whether that means paper plates, frozen dinners, or letting your toddler watch TV so you can take a nap. Outsource whatever you can while you’re in “survival mode” nurturing a new baby while healing from childbirth.
A sacrifice that’s worth it
Remember, beautiful mama, this season is temporary. You are living out the deepest and hardest parts of your God-ordained vocation right now. As C.S. Lewis once said, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”
These little moments of care – both for your baby and yourself – are acts of love. Be gentle with yourself, seek joy in small moments enjoying your precious baby, and trust that the journey of motherhood will get easier with time.
Your body has done something incredible. Your worth is not measured by your productivity, the state of your house, or how quickly you "bounce back." Your worth is inherent, as a beloved daughter of God.
Right now, your most important job is to heal, to bond with your baby, and to take care of yourself.
