Helping teen boys have a better vision of sexuality

Raising teenage boys in today’s world is no small task. Everywhere they turn — on their phones, social media, or even in casual conversations — they’re bombarded with hypersexualized content and messages that trivialize sexuality. Pornography, once difficult to access, is at hand, and its influence distorts not only how young men view others but also how they see themselves. Add to this the normalization of crude jokes and disrespectful humor, and it’s clear that today’s teens are navigating a minefield of harmful ideas about relationships, intimacy, and respect.

For parents, the challenge is to provide an alternative vision—one that teaches their sons that sex is not a commodity, and that equips them to choose dignity over distraction in a culture flooded with noise.

At the heart of this challenge is the need to point young men toward something greater than themselves. Teenagers are wired to ask big questions, even if they don’t say them out loud: Who am I? What matters? How do I live well?

Sexuality, in all its beauty and complexity, becomes an opportunity to explore these deeper truths. The goal isn’t just to avoid bad behavior but to inspire boys to see life—and themselves—with meaning and purpose.

The first step in guiding your son is simple but essential: don’t shy away from the awkwardness. Talking about sexuality is uncomfortable for both parents and teens, but that discomfort can become a bridge to honest conversations. Acknowledging it upfront — “I know this feels weird, but it’s important” — signals that you’re willing to wade into uncomfortable waters because you care about him.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your son is a new lens for how he sees others. The world often reduces people to objects for entertainment or consumption. Respect, by contrast, calls him to see the person in front of him as someone with a mind, heart, and soul. Simple messages like, “Be the guy who values more than looks” can plant seeds for deeper respect. Respect isn’t just a behavior — it’s a worldview.

Teen boys live in a culture saturated with shallow, sexualized content. The temptation to treat this as normal is everywhere, from explicit jokes to pornography. But this is where you can introduce a radical idea: freedom. True freedom isn’t about indulging every impulse; it’s about choosing what’s good and meaningful.

The Catechism teaches that chastity “ensures the unity of the person” (CCC 2338), reminding us that self-control isn’t about repression but integration — living as a whole person in alignment with one’s dignity. Help your son see that things like pornography don’t just cheapen others; they cheapen him. “You’re better than that,” you might tell him. “You’re capable of so much more than settling for junk.”

Modeling virtue doesn’t mean perfection — it means striving to live with integrity and treating others with dignity. Your son will learn more from what you do than what you say, whether it’s how you talk about men and women, the jokes you avoid, or the way you treat your own spouse. At the same time, let him see that virtue isn’t an unattainable ideal. It’s a journey of small, everyday choices.

Teen boys are bursting with energy and emotion. Give them something meaningful to channel that energy into — sports, music, building something with their hands. Activities like boxing or team sports can teach self-discipline, camaraderie, and respect. These lessons carry over into how they treat others, especially in relationships.

Above all, your son needs to know you’re a safe place. Judgment and harshness will shut down communication, but openness and humility will keep it alive. Remind him, “You can always come to me. Even if it’s weird or messy, I’d rather join you than have you face it alone.”

Ultimately, the most important thing you can do is help your son look beyond himself. The world pushes him toward shallow distractions, but he is capable of so much more — respect, love, purpose, and freedom. When he learns to see sexuality not as a trivial thing but as a gift woven into the fabric of his own being, he’ll begin to understand its true beauty.

Parenting isn’t about perfection, but about walking alongside your son, pointing him toward a meaningful life. In doing so, you give him the tools to not just navigate the noise of the world but to rise above it, guided by a vision of something greater.