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Off the top of my etiquette head

pope shelf

Simcha Fisher - published on 04/20/16

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If there were any justice in the world, I’d be pulling down a massive salary as an etiquette expert. Check out this guy, who thinks he’s so smart.

Big deal! I know lots of things about what should and shouldn’t be, and I will tell them to you! With pictures, even. Here’s just a few off the top of my etiquette head:

1. Nobody likes to see an attractive rug unravel. It’s unsightly and a safety hazard. There is an effective response to this problem: stop buying cheapass rugs that smell like formaldehyde. The solution is not, as you may think, to slap some duct tape on it.

rug tape

2. Kindness to animals will always have a place in gracious society; but many members of haute monde will frown on taking a buddy-system approach to lollipops and the hellbeast family pet.

corrie boomer lollipop resize

3. It’s considered tasteful to allow oneself a small display of souvenirs collected during one’s travels, as long as they are of the best quality, in good condition, and arranged in a visually coherent way. So, not like this:

pope shelf

4. It’s acceptable to incorporate words into your décor, as long as they convey uplifting sentiments. “Joy” is popular; “FAMILY” is widely used. It is not, however, considered de rigueur to write “DOOM ON YOU” in the mildew on the bathroom ceiling.

doom on you

5. Stop saying, “But I just cleaned it! I don’t understand how it got this way so quickly, when I just cleaned it!” You didn’t, and you know it.


I hope that these tips are helpful to you as you go about, birdlike, building the cozy nest of your home in a manner that is as pleasing to the eye as it is something something something.

What? I just wrote a post! I don’t know how it got this way so quickly!

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