Many couples must live apart for some length of time. How can they strengthen their bond during that chapter of their lives?
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Today, more and more couples (even married couples) are forced to live their relationship at a distance. Whether it’s for professional, academic or other reasons, it is often complicated to manage this type of relationship. How can a couple build their life together in this way?
Writing to each other, meeting in prayer, deeply living the moments spent together
First suggestion: Write to each other. We often transmit more things in writing than we do in speaking. Men above all, because they don’t always shine in the art of listening and sharing. My father, who was a prisoner in Germany, wrote a letter every day to his young wife with bits of pencil and pieces of paper that he was somehow able to scrounge up. His beloved did not read them until after the Liberation! The war is long over and the internet has made things much easier, thank God.
Second suggestion: Meet every day in prayer. Whether you see each other or not, whether you are near or far, whether you’re on your honeymoon or caught up in the first disappointments or misunderstandings, you are together in God’s hands. The Heart of Christ is the shortest road from one heart to another. The Eucharist in particular is the privileged place where conjugal community is renewed, deepened, purified, and strengthened: Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for it, inviting spouses of the faith to enter into this grace that is the secret of the sacred union.
Third suggestion: Obviously, live deeply the moments when you can meet, but without the stress and anxiety of making up for lost time. On the contrary, be as natural as possible, seek the pleasures of simplicity, the joys of sharing everyday activities such as shopping, house projects, comings and goings, socializing. This does not, of course, exclude a few out-of-the-ordinary adventures.
Don’t forget to sing, laugh, and breathe!
For motivated spouses, united in the will to follow the ways of the Lord, it is also an occasion to consider an offering. I am tempted to say “sacrifice” here, but this word is typically understood in the sense of giving something up, of deprivation, when the true emphasis is on giving, a gift that is made from one to another and a gift that the couple makes to the Lord together. This offering will be meaningful for a couple’s spiritual growth. And don’t forget to sing, laugh, and breathe!
Alain Bandelier
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