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Parents, here’s what to do if your teenagers say they hate you

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Mar Dorrio - published on 06/24/22
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No one warns you about what can appear when your kids get older and you have to protect them from themselves.

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Rarely do we want to say these things openly. Almost no publication that helps prepare and inform parents will tell you about something that can creep into your home. It usually appears when your children get older and you have to protect them from bad decisions, misconceived actions, impossible goals, mistakes that might leave them with deep scars. That's when it can sneak in -- words of hatred.

Those little people you’ve nurtured and watched grow may want to disown you. Instead of seeing your parenting boundaries as protection, they see them as walls that imprison them.

Your greatest tokens of love

You’ve witnessed your teens reject your your hugs, your advice, and your rules.

NASTOLATEK BUNT

Only a mother or father can embrace their children's words of hatred towards them as a small price to pay for keeping them safe. We don't need them to keep us company, to give us a comforting hug, or to thank us for our sleepless nights. We love them, and want their good, even if the consequence is hard. 

It’s not easy

It hurts to hear hurtful words. It hurts a lot. But love, when it’s unconditional love, steps forward and says from the bottom of that broken heart: “I’ll continue to sacrifice myself for you.”

Your children will find friends who will console them for their parents' "irrationality." They may even encounter entire families who will try to replace you, even endorsing the poor choices they may want to make.

If the storm is particularly tempestuous, it may seem like a lost battle. The devil wants you to sink into the pit of despair. What can you do?

Infallible tools

In this battle, we possess two infallible tools, which our children feel in their inner self, even if they don’t want to admit it: our love and affection. That love, that affection, and those homes, when they are rooted in prayer, enjoy a special something that only Our Lady brings, and which someday your children will miss.

PARENTING

So here's some very practical advice:

            Entrusting ourselves to the Blessed Virgin and to St. Monica, we, the whole family, can become closer to God.

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