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How to acquire the precious virtue of silence

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Daniel Esparza - published on 06/19/24
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For those striving to live a virtuous life, learning when to hold one’s tongue is crucial. Silence is a conscious act of self-control.

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Most of us live in a fast-paced world in which information overabounds. In it, noise reigns. The ability to remain silent has become an underappreciated skill. For those striving to live a virtuous and somewhat slower life, learning when to hold one’s tongue is crucial. Silence is not simply the absence of sound; it is a conscious act of self-control that cultivates prudence, humility, and meekness.

The book of Proverbs offers timeless wisdom on this subject: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is prudent. The tongue of the righteous is like fine silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value” (Proverbs 10:19-20). These verses remind us that verbosity often leads to sin, while the discipline of measured speech reflects the value of righteousness.

The many advantages of staying silent

The value of silence is manifold. First, it serves as a safeguard against unnecessary conflict and misunderstanding. How often have we seen situations escalate simply because someone spoke impulsively? A harsh word, a misplaced comment, or an untimely piece of “advice” can turn a minor disagreement into a significant fallout. By choosing silence, we give ourselves (and others) time to think, pray, and respond in a way that promotes peace rather than discord.

Silence is also about humility and awareness of one’s limits. It is a recognition that not every situation requires our input, and that sometimes our silence can speak volumes. This does not mean abandoning the pursuit of justice or failing to defend our rights. Rather, it means knowing the right time to speak and the right time to remain silent.

Speaking out of turn or without full understanding can often do more harm than good. True wisdom lies in knowing the difference.

Silence and prudence

The cardinal virtue of prudence is closely related to the discipline of silence. Prudence guides us to make wise decisions about when to speak and when to remain silent. It teaches us to weigh our words carefully, and to understand their potential impact. In a world where words are often used recklessly, the prudent person stands out as rare example of thoughtful speech but, mostly, of reflective and effective silence.

Embracing silence transforms our daily interactions. It can prevent arguments, heal strained relationships, and create a more peaceful environment. For example, in moments of anger or frustration, a bit of prudent silence allows emotions to subside and reason to prevail. This can prevent hurtful words that might later be regretted.

Living virtuously demands remembering the power of silence. Being able to shut up when needed will help us tame our impulses, practice humility, and cultivate prudence. Eventually, we realize that silence is not a sign of weakness, but quite the contrary: it reveals our inner strength.

By learning to be silent at the right times, we can meet life’s challenges with grace and integrity.

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