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Teaching toddlers (and parents) how to grow in patience

A mother holding a crying toddler daughter indoors in kitchen
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Daniel Esparza - published on 10/13/24
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Passing on Christian values to a 3-year-old can be challenging. Just as your child needs patience to learn, you need to give yourself patience to teach them.

Teaching basic human and Christian values to a three-year-old child is a profoundly rewarding yet complicated, delicate task. At this tender age, children learn primarily by observing their environment and the actions of those closest to them. Your own behavior, therefore, becomes the most powerful teaching tool. By modeling kindness, empathy, and love in your daily life, you can lay the foundation for their moral and spiritual development. After all, children learn more by watching than by listening – and it’s your actions, more than your words, that will resonate with them.

The first step in teaching these values is to take on the role of role model. Simple actions such as thanking others and speaking kindly send a clear message. These everyday moments are opportunities to live out Christian virtues, and to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). The smallest gestures reveal who you are – so try your best to act kindly. These actions, repeated consistently, help shape a child’s sense of empathy and concern for others.

Introducing simple Bible stories at this stage is also critical. Three-year-olds are captivated by stories, and the Bible is full of lessons that are appropriate for their level of understanding. Start with stories that emphasize love, compassion and kindness, such as the Good Samaritan or Jesus welcoming children. After the story, ask them what they liked about the story, and what do they think the story is about. This allows them to relate what you just read to their own experiences.

Patience, patience, patience.

Patience, however, is one of the most difficult lessons to teach – and to learn as a parent. At three years old, development is slow and uneven. Children are learning to make deeper sense of the world around them, and mistakes are obviously bound to happen. But these moments are crucial, not only for teaching the child, but also for teaching ourselves.

As parents, we must learn to cultivate patience for their pace of learning and development. When they struggle to grasp a lesson, lose focus, or make the same mistake over and over again, it can be frustrating. However, this is a reminder that the process is gradual, and our role is to accompany them in this slow but profound growth.

When toddlers act out, instead of reacting in frustration, it’s important to remember that this is part of their development. Teach them about forgiveness and mercy by demonstrating it in your own responses. When they make mistakes, gently explain why their actions weren’t right and encourage them to apologize. Let them see that forgiveness is a fundamental part of life – not just asking for it, but also giving it to others. It’s in these small, everyday moments that children begin to understand the deeper values of faith, mercy, and love.

Above all, remember that you are on this journey with them. Teaching values to a young child is not a quick process – it’s a daily, ongoing effort. And just as your child needs patience to learn, you need to give yourself patience to teach them.

Recognize the slow beauty in their development and embrace the fact that this is a long journey, filled with opportunities to grow together.

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